My Greatest Enemy is My Inner Me

This blog will tell the story of an up-and-coming young black man in his 20's

Monday, October 30, 2006

Just a Phone Call Away (I'm Back)

Hello Blog World.

Yes I know it has been like 10 days since I've last blogged. Its been a combination of things. Mainly work, as well as not having anything exciting to talk about. That's why I check out my boy Zed on a daily basis. He could make a simple topic like "bitching employees" sound exciting.

My favorite cousin Smooth came into town, although it wasn't exactly under the best circumstances. A family member on his father's side had died in a car accident, and the funeral was here in Chicago. It really got me to thinking about how life isn't guaranteed, and also how I need to vastly improve my communication with my own family. I talk to Smooth and Tiger just about every day on the emails, but otherwise I may talk to other parts of my fam "maybe" once a month. Maybe. That's terrible. And I keep thinking about the fact that no one truly close to me has died yet, and I'm afraid of how I will take it if that day comes. I know that I would feel sad if I didn't get a chance to have a recent conversation with them. So beginning today, I'm going to call a lot of people in my family to see how they're doing. I'm even going to ask Smooth for our cousin Wimpy's email address, who's stationed in Iraq.

And now, back to our regularly scheduled programming!

Last night, after dropping Smooth and lil brother Todd Mack off at the airport, I decided to run into a grocery store to refill on some liquids because those aforementioned cats drunk up all my kool aid and "orange quarter water" jug! I'm expecting to be in and out in 10 minutes flat, but the cashier decides to try to test the lady right in front of me and not give her the correct change. That lady was like "Excuse me - I gave you a 20. You owe me 10 more dollars!" So then the cashier had to bring the manager over, and they go into the back to count the drawer down. All this going on with the store becoming busier. I was really close to just leaving my shit on the belt and picking it up another day. About 10 minutes later, her and the manager come back and give the lady her 10 dollars. After finally leaving the store, I was ready to go home, watch the Sunday Night Football game, and fall into a nice slumber.

But before I do that, I decide to call Staci first.

Staci, for those who remembered, was a chick that was in my play. A very beautiful girl that has acting aspirations much like myself, and knows a lot of people in the industry. She's ahead of me in the accomplishments, as she just finished being in a movie with the comedian Micheal Blackson. Most of you all remember him from Next Friday when he told Pinky "I can not get Jiggy with this!" in his African accent.

I called her, and she's says "I was just about to call you and see if you wanted to go to this comedy club. Michael Blackson called me and told me he was in town to do this show at Riddles."
At first I was unsure, thinking to myself that I would be missing out on another possible Terrell Owens melt down on the sidelines. But then I would be falling back into that "content now and complain later" stage, so I quickly changed my tune and told her I was down.

The comedy set was nice. A lot of local acts, but clearly Michael Blackson was the star. Afterwards, he came over and gave Staci and hug and she introduced me to him. He seemed very cool.

On the way home, I try to pick Staci's brain about "life". She tells me that she is focused on her acting thing, but she is looking for someone to hang out with, and go from there. After I drop her off at her car, she tells me "You need to quit playing and call me more often."

Yeah, you and a host of others.

Thanks for Reading,

Robert L. Mack

Friday, October 20, 2006

A night in the life of Carlos Beltran

I quasi-jacked the name of today's post from Organized Noise, only because my subject will be about Carlos Beltran.

Most of you all don't know him.

If you're a sports fan, you've at least heard of the name.

If you're a New York Mets fan, you're probably not too fond of him right now.

Beltran is a Center Fielder for the Mets, and is considered to be one of the best players in baseball today. He is in the mold of Willie Mays or Barry Bonds in his prime, with the perfect combination of power and speed and defense. The Mets believed that he was so much of a great player that they signed him with a contract to the tune of 119 million dollars over 7 years (yep, 17 mil per year). So you would consider him a superstar, and superstars come through in the clutch, right?

Well last night, his team was down 3-1 in the bottom of the ninth. This was the 7th game of the NLCS between the Mets and the St. Louis Cardinals, and most you know that 7th game is the final game of any series, often referred to as the "Do or Die" or "Sudden Death" game. Whoever wins, goes to the Championship Round (known as the World Series), whoever loses, goes home. Beltran was up to bat, but he had two strikes against him. If he gets a single, more than likely 2 runs would score, tying the game. If he cracks a double, 3 runs might score and he wins the game for his team and is a hero.

The pitcher for the Cardinals throws a pitch, and it is thrown right over the plate.

Strike 3.

The game is over, and the Cardinals win the game, and the NLCS.

"Superstar" Beltran never took the bat off of his shoulder. He simply watched the ball sail into the catchers' mitt.

Kids, as well as adults, were seen in the stands crying. I know the feeling. Most of you all heard that my Chicago Cubs were only 5 outs away from going to the World Series in 2003, but a fan named Steve Bartman interfered with a Cubs player who tried to catch a ball going into the stands. This rattled the Cubs pitcher, who lost his composure, and subsequently, the game.
It's ok, right? Beltran can come back next year and have the chance again?
Hold your horses. Many players play for many years and never get a chance. Ernie Banks, known as Mr. Cub, played for 18 years and never played in the playoffs, let alone the World Series. The Cubs have not been to the World Series since 1945. That's 61 years, folks.

So now "Superstar" Beltran is left to ponder "what if" for the entire offseason. Maybe for the rest of his life he never makes it back to the playoffs.

So my point of today's post is, to take a swing. You may never know if that is your only shot. Even if you strike out, at least you took the chance.

I wrote this post for you all, but I think I wrote it more for myself.

Have a good weekend all.

Thanks for Reading,
Robert Mack

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

It stinks in there, but I'm so hungry....

Ok, I'm keeping it light on a hump day.

As a lot of you know, I work for a very large computer company. You see their commercials all of the time, especially if you watch the NFL. My company moved into a big, 10-story building in early 2003, a few months before I started working there. We share the building with "The Light Bill folks of Chicago and NE Illinois" (LOL) who owns the building and occupies the top 4 floors. My company did some condensing and moved a lot of people to another floor, leaving the 3rd floor open for the past 6 or so months. On Monday, a new mortgage company moved in and set up shop on the vacant 3rd level.

The reason for telling you all this is because I seen a few ladies coming through the doors, and I liked what I had seen at first glance. So the question is, if I ever attempted to court one of these chicks, would it still be considered an office thing, aka "shitting where you eat"? True, it may be the same building, but my chances of seeing this person on the regular is slim and none unless we purposely made attempts to see one another. Our security doors and badges are different so the chick couldn't just pop up on me. My only chance of coincidently seeing her is if we're in the cafeteria at the same time, which is doubtful considering that I'm one of those types that sits at my computer all day, only getting up once or twice to get a printout or "answering nature".

So If I go after the meal, will it stink later?

Thanks for reading,

Robert Mack

Monday, October 16, 2006

Mustache Dashes, Crashes, and Establishes

Ok, so hopefully this week will get me back in the blogging spirit. I have the next 2 Fridays off at my 2nd job, which means that I'll be looking to get into some action. I still owe Trizzy a dare of talking to two darker skinned ladies, so I'll attempt to fulfill that over the next 2 weekends. Speaking of dares, TTD dared me to shave my mustache off.


I've been enamored with facial hair since I was about 13, the age when some guys get a lil peach fuzz on their chin or the sides of their face or upper lip. At that age I thought that all men had the capabilities of growing mustaches and beards and goatees, but it wasn't until I got into my late teen years that I found out that its all hereditary like everything else with our physical appearance. My boy Lil One is 27 and can barely grow 5 strands on his chin. He still looks like he did when we were in high school.

"You no mustache havin'/with whiskers like a rat compared to Beans you wack" - Nas, to Jay-Z on the song Ether.

Remember the episode of The Cobsy Show when Theo and Cochroach when out on dates and drew in mustaches? Cliff said "I hope it doesn't rain". LOL. That was me. I used to sit in the mirror when I was 14 or 15 and draw facial hair on myself. I used to pray to God that one day I could grow facial hair like my father. I even went as far as taking Tribulus Territris pills because it I read that it boosts your testosterone.

Whether it worked or not, who knows, but I'm pretty much happy with my facial hair. I like to do different things with it, whether it's to go with a pencil thin look and watch it grow back, or go with my most recent look, which is thick along with the soul patch and goatee. I can even grow sideburns if I wished, but doing so causes my face to break out and it took me too damn long to get my face right from bumps.

So to TTD, I won't be shaving the mustache now, however, if you all remember back around April and May of this year when I had to go to court, I said that I shaved all of my facial hair to look young and innocent in front of the judge, and I took a few pics of me in the babyface. So enjoy and laugh at my expense, like Missy did.

With facial hair:

On another note, I wonder if you all can tell in the difference in my face after losing weight. The pic without the hat is from July of 2005, while the pic of me with the hat was from just last weekend.

Without *gasp*

I had more but not only is my phone acting up, but I've been trying to put these pics on Blogger all day, so this is good enough. Yall get the picture, literally.

Thanks for Reading,

Robert Mack

Monday, October 09, 2006

Truth or Dare: Rob Mack Style!

LAST EDITED ON 10-12 at 11:29 am Central.....

Aiight yall, so I got dragged into this, but it looks like fun, so here goes...

But first, here's a disclaimer that I stole from Trizzy:

How do you play? Well, I'm so glad you asked. You comment on this "Truth or Dare" post with either TRUTH or DARE. I will respond with a question or a dare (in my comments), and then you must post your response on your blog so that I can make sure you actually did it. How about we make the title something along the lines of Truth or Dare?! (Cuz you KNOW I'ma check on ya) THEN, you get to ask me Truth or Dare.
Here are a few suggested guidelines:
~Let's not ask to see pics of each other (completely) naked. The idea is to get to know each other better, not embarrass each other.
~Ask interesting questions
~If you do a dare, it has to be something that can be easily shown by posting a pic online
~Let's not get crazy with the dares :D

Look at the top of this post for the last time I updated to make it easier for all parties involved....

Ok, let's get it started, ohhhhhh!!!!!

My girl Dynasty asked me "Do you just use that shy shit on your blog as a way to get some sympathy and hopefully some cyber coochie?"

LOL......Hmm...well I've always been a shy person, but what you all are witnessing is the evolution, the "breaking out of the shell" if you will, of Mr. Robert Mack. So yeah, when I first started blogging, I probably came across that way, and I was.
Still am, to some degree.
But to get to the crux of the question - my favorite topic - "coochie" as you say. What you read is truly how I am. Besides, I want a chick to want me because of me, not for sympathy. Although sympathy ASS is still ASS all in the that was my ploy then it hasn't worked, at least I don't +think+ it has worked.

Trizzy dared me today. She said "how about you introduce yourself to 2 new DARK-SKINNED ladies (cuz we know all about your light-skinned affinity). Oh, and in case you didn't know've got to have PICTURE PROOF!! :D"

Hmm, well you would have to let me get back to you on that one. Give me until next Monday to get this one done, ok? how dark does she have to be? ...And wait, I talk to all shades....Remember the chick I met from the club named Ciera? She was darker, agree "1 in the Same"? And then the chick from my play that my lil brother said liked me named Staci was also darker. Can I get a picture of her as an example?

Tenacious wanted to know how many women have I slept with?

Wow....I guess I asked for it huh? And I have to include the one hitter-quitters too huh?

After getting a napkin and tabulating, I'm currently at 24. I actually thought it was a few more. I always said that I didn't want to go higher than my age, so at this point, I'm 3 behind. Here's a interesting stat for you: I've mentioned in the past that I've slowed down on the partners quite considerably since 2003, and the stats back me up. Since the beginning 03, I've only been with 5. I got a story to tell behind why I slowed down, and it all ties into my "Crazy Chick" post that I've been holding on to for a while. I'm still not ready to tell that story, but I will one day, so stay tuned...

Nikki said
here's your truth:
tell us about the scariest moment in your adult life.

To be honest, my adult life has been pretty much drama-free. When I was 20, my mother's husband , who's been a lifetime criminal and has been in jail since 2000, stole some big screen TV's from off the back of a truck and he brought them inside the crib. He and his partners was like "Ok we all get one for ourselves, and then we sell another." They went twice, and I think they had a total of 6. My mom was telling them to quit before they got caught, but greed set in and they went back a third time. When they didn't come back right away, my mom was worried. Then we started seeing all kinds of police cars, marked and unmarked. After about an hour, we knew that he was probably caught, and they would be knocking on our door soon. Around 12 or 1 in the morning, the police were knocking at the door. Moms was like "stay away from the window and don't answer the door." They kept knocking for what seemed like forever. Moms was scared. I was too, because if they come and see those 3 big ass TV's in the living room with my fingerprints on them, I figured they were going to deem me as an accomplice. I had never been to jail, and I seeing that we were in the projects, they were probably going to send my ass to the "county" (aka Cook County Jail).

So the next morning came, and we're trying to figure out how we are going to get rid of these TV's without anyone seeing them. Someone knocked on the door and said that they were from the office. She opened the door and it was the police asking for her husband. After she closed the door, she just said eff it, and opened the door and allowed them to come in. I thought about going in a closet to hide, but didn't want to seem guilty. They questioned me and that was about it. Her husband eventually got off, but a few months later he went to jail again and has been there even since.

Nika Laqui asked
I do want to know the truth though....
Did Missy or Dynasty, let you get it in??...???....

LMAO!!!!! Boy you all are something else, although this is the first time that Missy has being mentioned. You all aren't going to let us live that down huh? *I cannot stop laughing*......If you want to know what happened, read here. That's the best I can give you.

The Mistress asked:
Truth...Have you ever had a threesome? Would you ever participate in one?

Man oh man, that's been a dream of mine for the longest now. I hear that it is overrated, but I want to at least say that I've done it one time In the past, I've had women tell me that they would be down, but I would have to find the other chick. Now how am I supposed to do that? A had a chick that liked me that had a girlfriend, and another time there was this chick that I was effin with and she asked another chick if she was down, and she was. But the "other" chick moved to Florida. So I've been close, yet so far away.

Royce's Daughter said

I Dare you to tell us one Blogger that you'd love to go out on a date with and why.

Hmm, good question. I like this. Dynasty would have been the first, but I guess that's already happened. got me here. This is really hard, because I haven't given it a lot of thought...

*Still thinking after 15 minutes......*

Alright, I hope I don't get electronically chin checked for this, but Trizzy seems like a wonderful person. She's funny, inciteful, and very wise beyond her years.

Then If I could give a second person, I would say The Mistress with her crazy self. We could talk about a wide range of subjects, including, *ahem* "gratification and reciprocation" LOL. I leave her blog sometimes just saying "whoa".....

TCas said
Truth... What could a woman do that would make you say that she is The One???

Well, ok, how's this? I come in from a long's days work, she's already home dressed in beautiful lingerie , she has my favorite meal (steak and rice) cooked and ready for me to eat, and afterwards she takes me by the hand into our room and we proceed to have sweat induced sex, and after we're finished and laying there for, oh about 5-10 minutes, she says "baby, lets watch some Sportscenter. Can you believe that they led off with T.O. again?"

That's The One right there.....

But realistically, if she makes me feel like I am #1 in her eyes, and I feel like she makes me a better person, and I have this overwhelming feeling of being proud to be with her, then I would say that she is The One.

My cuz Tiger asked:

I got a truth: If a girl propose to you would you say yes?

Well, I'm a traditionalist. If she asked me, I would probably say no because I want to be the one to ask her. But if she is The One, then I would say Yes. However if she is The One, then I would have asked before she asked me, just my opinion.

SynSational had a TRUTH for me You mentioned that you hope to have what T-Cas and Trish have one day, but are you scared to fall in love again and give your heart to one woman? with nothin,

y'all be frontin

Me give my heart to a woman?

Not for nothin, never happen

I'll be forever mackin - Jay Z, Big Pimpin

LOL...just kidding...

Well, to be honest, I don't know if I've ever been in love. I've had love for my exes, but was I "in love"? Hmm...that's debatable. And then too, I'm not sure if my pickiness in women would allow me to find someone to fall "in love" with. But if I find someone that has potential to be The One, then yeah I would love to give my heart to a woman, so I can blog about her a la Uncle Slishy.....

I'm accepting applications......

JoJo D. said...
I got one: Have you ever or would you ever date a White woman?

Hmm...well there was the one time in college, I was a freshman, and so was she. We had English class together. She was one of those white chicks that was into rap and only liked Black guys. She was decent looking, but I wasn't that attracted to her, but she liked me a lot. She had a party for her 18th birthday at a hotel, and she invited me. She wanted me to stay the night, so I knew what she wanted. I told myself that I never had a white girl before, so I might as well see what its all about. The sex was decent, considering I was still pretty green in that area, and I'm laughing now because I remember her saying "Ooh Daddy" a few times...LOL....

What stands out to me is that while I kissed her face, it was very fuzzy like a peach. It had me wondering if all white women were like that......

So that was my only time with the other "persuasion"....

Fast Forward to 2006: I'm not really attracted to white women at all, with the exception of Jessica Simpson. And when I was younger, I liked Tiffany Amber Theisen aka Kelly from the tv show Saved By the Bell. I don't know if it is because I love black women so much, or because my head had been brainwashed by black women who don't like to see us (black men) date them.

Oh and I still have dreams of getting with a Latina as well.

I got a truth for Missy the Negropino: Answer Dynasty's question she posed for you....

If you gave me a truth or dare, and I missed it, bring it to my attention now......Let's have fun folks!!!!!

Thanks for Reading (and participating),

Robert Mack

Thursday, October 05, 2006

Flashback Mack: Senior Prom

Hello All, Sorry to have been away. To be honest, I haven't looked at neither my blog nor anyone else's blog since last Friday. The last I remember, hmm.......Dynasty was worried about someone having the key to her hotel room, Nsane Nika had a job that she hasn't told us about yet, Missy is having car problems, Zed was trying to moisturize his situation, and T-Cas gave a meme that I was thinking about doing......I'm willing to bet a lot has been going on since then, so I have plenty of blog reading to catch up on. I shall be by your blog sometime today.

My life hasn't had anything blog worthy to talk about, so let's go in the time machine.......................................

2007 is right around the corner. Hard to believe its been nearly 10 years since I graduated high school. I was talking to my cousin Smooth yesterday, who graduated high school in 1996. I asked him was he going to his 10 year reunion, and he said probably not, due to the fact that he really didn't have any friends from his high school. Well, seeing that I probably had 0 friends from my high school, I shouldn't go either. Let me explain.

At the start of my senior year, I moved from Chicago to Rockford. Still to this day, it is the one decision that I wish I could have back in my life. In actuality, my life is probably better off for moving, but I still would have liked to have graduated from the school that I started out at. I never made any friends at my new high school. That being said, I'm definitely looking forward to the 10 year reunion that my school will have some time next year.

Why, you ask?

Remember that one episode of Martin where he went to his 10 year reunion and wanted to pay back all of the people that wronged him from back in day ("Pretty Ricky is what they called him...." LOL), well part of me wants to do the same. Not necessarily as payback, but just to see a few people that laughed at my expense due to my gaffe at Senior Prom.

One of the people that I would love to see is Sharon. A beautiful girl who I asked to take to prom. She agreed. Over the next month or so, we talked on the phone a few times, I even tried to set up a date but it never materialized. I seemed to always be the one who would initiate the phone conversation, and every time we talked it was either short or "she was never home". One day to my surprise, I get home and I check the messages.

"Rob, this is Sharon. Give me call when you get a chance"

So of course, I'm on 10, thinking that Sharon is finally coming around on me.
I call her back, trying to make my 17 year old voice sound as cool as I could be, only for her to tell me
"I just wanted to tell you that I don't think we should go to prom together. You're just not my type".

Feelings hurt but trying to still be cool, I say "Ok, that's fine I understand. Who would you be going with then?"


Now, although I was a baby Mack, I wasn't stupid, and I would see Terrell always at her locker while I was courting her. I even asked Terrell if he was trying to date Sharon, and he vehemently told me no. But what a coincidence that they're going to prom together, right?

Apparently I wasn't thuggish enough for her. I ran into this problem with a few girls that I tried to date back from high school and early on in my 20's. Back in the "trying to find myself" days and part of why "My Inner Me" can be my Enemy at times was because I would try to act a certain way to appease some chick. I would be afraid to show the fact that I was a goofy kid that enjoyed sports and Sega Genesis. That's why I tell my little brother from my father's side, who just turned 13 and is starting to like girls to be himself and never compromise who is he for anyone.

Terrell was a ghetto cat that didn't do much in school. In fact, I'm trying really hard to remember if he was at the graduation. I don't think he was. Sharon already had a baby and I'm willing to bet that she has had a few more. A match made in heaven, huh?

Once word got around that Sharon dumped me, a girl named Tabitha who was a junior told me that she would go to prom with me. I had no attraction to Tabitha at all. But she was a very popular girl with the Seniors and seeing that she could not go unless she went with a senior, she decided to ask me. I really didn't want to go with her. But all of the associates (notice the wording) said that I should take her, so I agreed to be with the "in crowd". Fucking Ridiculous. I'm actually pissed off yall as I type this even though this happened nearly 10 year ago.

At the same time, or maybe a few weeks later, I began to court another girl named Toria. She was quiet, sort of aloof, did not hang with the "in crowd", and she arguably had the best body that an 18 year old girl could possess. Man her ass was *tremendous* a matter of fact, remember my "One that Got Away" story where in the comments section I alluded to a time in high school that I was kinda close to hitting a chick, had her bra off and I believe she started to take her panties off??? I went to my room to get a condom and I came back and she changed her mind because we had just started "talking" and didn't quite know each other? Well I was referring to Toria.

I liked Toria a lot. But, her reputation in school was not favorable. This girl that I consider a quasi friend even said that Toria was trashy. I listened and cooled off on Toria. Fucking Ridiculous, part 2. Toria asked me if we could go to prom, and I told her no because I already said I would go Tabitha. Now conventional wisdom says if I'm feeling Toria, dump Tabitha and have a great time with Toria right? Well, seeing that Sharon dumped me about a month back and I didn't want to do the same to Tabitha, as well as the fact that I would have fell out of favor with the "in crowd" because I shunned the popular chick for a so called "trashy" chick, I decided to go to prom with Tabitha. Fucking Ridiculous, part 3.

Prom day is here, and I'm looking great. Nice white suit, along with navy blue on the inside to match Tabitha's dress. Before I leave my crib, I make sure I have everything - camera, corsage, condoms (hey I wasn't feeling Tabitha like that but I was for all intents and purposes still a virgin and I wasn't turning down no ass) - and I head on to pick up Tab.

At dinner, I'm hanging out with Tab and the "In crowd", which is bunch of fucks that I didn't care too much to be around. These were not my people. Anyways, at the end of the dinner when it's time to pay - here's the point of today's entry - I begin to look for my wallet.

Oh Shit!

All of this primping and preening in front of the mirror and making sure I had everything and my young dumb ass left my wallet at home. I was so embarrassed. I had 5 dollars in my pocket. I told Tabitha about the situation, but luckily she had some money with her. After dinner, I immediately went home, retrieved my wallet, and gave Tab her money back. But, at the prom, the "in-crowd" began to tell everyone that I came to dinner with no money and made Tab pay for everything, and I tried to put out the flames by telling people one by one that I paid her back immediately, but soon it began to turn into urban legend and it quickly got around the entire school. That following Monday, I got back to school and I was the joke of the school. People were hooting and hollering at me, calling me "5 bucks". Even teachers heard about it. I wanted to crawl up in a corner and never be seen again. Fortunately, graduation was just a few weeks away so I didn't have to worry about this for too much longer.

So to recap:

* I was dumped.
* I went to prom with a chick that I had NO attraction to.
*I could've went with a chick that I liked and I could have probably hit, but I wanted to be with the "In Crowd".
* The same "In Crowd" that told everyone that I had no money and made my date pay.

So you all don't think I don't have a 10 year chip on my shoulder and I'm eager to see what these people are doing?

Think Again.

Thanks for Reading,

Robert Mack