My Greatest Enemy is My Inner Me

This blog will tell the story of an up-and-coming young black man in his 20's

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

"The Dream Shatterer"

Ay-yo I shatter dreams like Jordan, assault and batter your team
Your squadron'll be barred from rap like Adam & Eve from the garden -
Big Pun

Oh wait, I almost forgot-

I'm down to 219 as of Monday the 21st. That's a total of 11 pounds I've lost since August 7. Not quite my goal of 215 that I wanted to reach by now, but I'm still losing. On Monday evening, I jogged/ran/walked 2.6 miles. Talk about being spent. And to top it off, I walked up 20 flights of stairs to my crib after the jog. Also did the same last night after coming home from my second job, even with sore legs. I'm trying to see how many days in a row I can do this. My goal for next Monday is to get down to 215. The ultimate goal is 200.

But now to the story at hand.

As I alluded to in the previous post, if I happen to dream about a prospective female in my life, that usually means that I'll never be with her romantically OR If I have, I will never be that way with her again. Maybe because of the fact that If I'm already with her, there is no need to dream about her right? I had two dreams recently about two women that had been dealing with.

One was about Chappelle #2. To recap again, all I could remember in the dream was that she came to a party with her new butch girlfriend, and I was mad about it. One, because she never told me she was gay, and two because I wanted to be with her. I tried to have a talk with her alone but she didn't oblige. That's all I remember. I'm still trying to figure out the whole lesbian angle.

My second dream was about Gina. This one was rather interesting. I had a dream that I tried to get with her mother. The thing is, I've never met or seen her mother before! I'm assuming it was her mother because it was kind of a sneak move on our parts because we knew it was wrong. I remember trying to mess around with her in the basement while Gina was upstairs. I don't remember if I actually got to penetratin', I just remember that she was a little receptive but then gave in to me.

Now what I take from the second dream is, Gina is too young and immature for me (21 and I'm 27) and I need someone older. Not someone's MILF (LOL), but someone on my level. Me and Gina never had sex. She spent the night one time back in June, but nothing happened (Just to note, the fact that we never were together in that way didn't deter me from wanting to be with her. She's the one who killed the courtship, by her own admission). I still see her every now and then, but it's a quick hi and bye. I haven't spoken to her on the phone in a long time. Its funny how things go. When you first start to date someone, it feels so fresh and new, and you feel like "Ok this might be the one right here". And then that Day 30 hits. Usually at Day 30 of dating someone, you'll know if that person you've been seeing is going to be a chapter in your life or just a page; a mere footnote. I started dating Gina about a few weeks before my birthday (Mid-May). By Mid-June, it started going downhill. Conversations on a daily basis with each convo timed at least a half hour to an hour or more, then it dwindled down to 2 or 3 times a week for about 10 to 15 minutes, then down to once a week for maybe 5 minutes, to nothing at all. It went downhill, and it went downhill quick!

But overall, I believe I have these dreams as a sign of knowing if I should pursue someone. Any female that I've ever been with intimately, I've never dreamed of her prior to the intimacy. So with that in mind, I am officially closing the chapter on me and Chappelle #2, and turning the page on me and Gina.

But the book of my life continues on. I can't wait to read what happens next.....................

I probably will not blog again until Monday of next week. I have some projects at work that I need to get my ass on, so I have to cut out all extra-curricular activities (blogs, ebay, message boards) thru the end of the week. If I finish early, I'll be back to write and/or check out your blog. If not, have a nice weekend, talk to you on Monday.

Thanks for Reading as Always,

Robert Mack


Anonymous MzNewAgenda said...

First...think of it this way....It's her loss....when you were 20 you had Relationship ADD too!! LOL we all did

Wed Aug 23, 10:51:00 AM  
Anonymous MzNewAgenda said...

O and that was not as in First point...second point ...that was as in FIRST Africans!!!! LOL

Wed Aug 23, 10:59:00 AM  
Blogger NegroPino™ said...

iM 27 And still have relationship ADD.......I get so nervous now when I start kicking it with somebody i just dont say antying i go with the flow and wahtever happens, happens

Wed Aug 23, 11:42:00 AM  
Blogger Tenacious said...

Well at least ur dreams are letting you know from jump that sh*t might not work out...why put in all that work only for it to fail?

And I think everyone has ADD, I'm surprised the current has kept me entertained for so long....

Wed Aug 23, 12:03:00 PM  
Blogger Dynasty said...

Are you sure that you're not doing anything else this weekend that's keeping you from blogging ? :) Just I'm not...

Wed Aug 23, 12:31:00 PM  
Blogger Phoenix said...

I'm glead someone knows what the hell their dreams mean....

Wed Aug 23, 01:09:00 PM  
Blogger Miz JJ said...

I have always thought dreams were meaningless. I may need to reassess that belief.

Wed Aug 23, 01:27:00 PM  
Blogger Nique said...

MAn,I found out alot of stuff i didnt know about you. Nice page

Wed Aug 23, 03:31:00 PM  
Blogger Robert L. Mack said...

Congrats on being first...yeah she got ADD...but its cool

I tend to give too much too soon

Yeah its like when I first wake up, go thru a string of emotions...first im disappointed because it was a dream and not real, then im happy because it was probably a good dream, then Im sad again because I know what it means.

Hmm....Yeah there may be something that might keep me busy this weekend...that could be the new chapter in my life huh? I'm not saying, but I'm saying....LOL...

Usually in my dreams, the exact opposite happens.

Miz JJ
Well that's just for me. Yours may be should write about them so I can try to decipher.

You found all of that out from this dream post? Or have you been archiving?

Wed Aug 23, 04:41:00 PM  
Blogger The Mistress said...

I barely even remember my dreams....unless they're really bad. I have the pregnant dream a lot...but I refer to that as A NIGHTMARE!! Grrrrr I hate having the pregnant dream!

Thu Aug 24, 01:50:00 AM  
Blogger Bklyn Diva said...

LMAO.. I'm laughing so hard at you but its ok...

now I'll flirt with you LOL

Thu Aug 24, 08:52:00 AM  
Blogger Dynasty said...

Robert: You've said enough...

Thu Aug 24, 01:22:00 PM  
Blogger Royce's Daughter said...

Your growing rather well young Mr. Mack...very proud!!!

Thu Aug 24, 03:05:00 PM  
Blogger Nika Laqui said...

Interesting....I never thought about it that way Rob...crazy thing happened to me...

I had a dream about my ex boyfriend, before I had ever spoken with him and the dream was so hot, I had to pursue it in real life.

Hey....I hope you can make it to my "Going Away" Chicago Bloggers would be nice to see you once again...

Thu Aug 24, 03:23:00 PM  
Blogger Robert L. Mack said...

Hmm.....maybe it means that you're fearful of being a mother. perhaps?

Bklyn Diva
You could have flirted before *wink*

Hmm...I have no idea what you mean..LOL...

Hopefully I wont relapse like I did before earlier this summer.

Man I am so mad....I wont be able to because of the 2nd job, I dont get any vac days until october...if you're still out around 12 (and not drunk on the floor, lol) then maybe we could see each other then.

Thu Aug 24, 04:07:00 PM  
Blogger DivineLavender said...

Sometimes dreams can be triggered by something you ate before bed and dreaming is said to be your minds/thoughts time to play at night while your physical body rest.

Maybe your dreams are your thoughts that you don't allow to play while you are up and "thinking". I am guessing maybe you are drawn to being with older women but somewhere you "think" it is wrong so you were dippin' to do it. Lastly, I would say about the lesbian thing...since you are assuming it was her girlfriend...maybe it is just the fanstasy of seeing two women together.

Again, I am no dreamologist but just my guesses to get you even more confused.

A whole weekend without blogging just a little bit...Sorry!

Thu Aug 24, 09:32:00 PM  
Blogger nikki said...

if i think about a person right before i go to bed, chances are i'm gonna dream about that person. too bad about chappelle. NEXT!

Fri Aug 25, 07:42:00 AM  
Blogger Nika Laqui said...

Mack, we gone be kickin out West afterwards....I don't know which bloggers are gonna be down to ride out West...but you're welcome to come...but I know u don't like clubs...

Fri Aug 25, 09:07:00 AM  
Blogger Msnhim said...

I usually dream about ex's... I wish I knew why?

Fri Aug 25, 10:55:00 AM  
Blogger TTD said...

i wish i had dreams that i could use as signs...

Sun Aug 27, 07:50:00 PM  

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