My Greatest Enemy is My Inner Me

This blog will tell the story of an up-and-coming young black man in his 20's

Thursday, June 22, 2006

Public Places Only part 1

Before I get to my story, let me get a few things off of my chest. Mack's Mental Musings, if you will. (LOL! What up Missy the Negropino!!!!)

* I know I always have excuses as to why I'm don't blog as much. Well here's another, although it is quite valid: A lot of the work peeps in my dept are on vacation, including ol Chappelle #2. So while they are gone, I have to back up their accounts, which means more work for me, which means less blogging. But I'm going to try to sneak this entry in while it is still early in the morning.

* Congrats to Dwyane Wade and the Miami Heat for winning the NBA Championship. Wade is a fellow Chicagoan and it pains me to see him blow up like this because he should have been playing for the home team, in fact he always says in interviews that he was certain that the Bulls were going to take him at #7 in the 2003 draft, but Pat Riley seen his greatness and stole him at #5. He is a true Chi-towner, in a magazine he mentions that he always has to get some Harolds Chicken, extra mild sauce. My cousin Smooth, whenever he touches down from Dallas, makes it mandatory that we hit up Harolds before we make it home from the airport. What's even more interesting is there are about 50 or so of them scattered throughout the south side (It was one on the west side at one time) and people have their preferences as to which ones to go to.

"Man they don't make them right at the one on 88th and Stony. I only fucks with the one on 71st and Merrill"

"Hey the one on 64th and Cottage always gives you an extra wing"

I remember when I first moved back to the south side in 2001, I used to go to Harold's 3, sometimes 4 times a week. They knew my voice my e'ything. LOL. "Oh Rob, 5 wings, right?" Damn now I'm hungry.

* Smooth just purchased a whip a few weeks before I did, a blazin' red Monte Carlo. He was just telling me that its kinda embarrassing when he gets compliments on it, and the attention that he gets. LOL. It funny how your confidence improves when you're behind something nice. I was telling him that I can look over at chicks and waive - and get this - they waive back. LOL. Don't get me wrong, I ain't in a 06 4-dot Range or "Maybach'n" it, but I ain't no slanger nor was I born with a silver spoon in my mouth. I worked my butt off for what I got, and I love my TB. I just need to get an amp, because it has that crappy ass noise reduction on it so I can't blast music like I wanna.

Ok now to the main story.

My ex-girlfriend came to the play on Friday night. I was mad at first because I didn't see her after the play, but she called me and told me that I did a good job. "Why didn't you stay?" (Pulling a Knockout Zed)...She says "I didn't know you wanted me to. Well what are you doing now? I'm over at my cousin's house." Before the play, I hadn't talked to her in about 6 months, and that was around xmas to make sure she was alive and well. Before that, it was 6 months prior to that convo, so that means that we've spoke about twice in the last year. The reason for the latest animosity was because one of our best friends from high school (my guy who I refer to as Blueprint) was getting married and I didn't tell her. Well I would have rather him tell her since they were best friends, maybe even closer than me and him are. She wasn't too happy with the fact that I held this information in, and she said that hurt her feelings. But she confessed to me the other night that she was looking for a reason to stop talking to me, and that was her out clause. Why did she want to stop talking to me? Because she was falling for me again.

*Flashback story in 5, 4, 3 ,2*

My ex-girlfriend, whom I'll call "Hazel Eyes" (obvious reasons) was the first "pretty" girl to ever give me a chance. She was tiny, barely 5 feet tall and didn't quite hit 1 spin across the scale, but she was carmel complexioned with long hair and hazel eyes. All the guys liked her. Even white dudes had a crush on her. I was a nerd at the time, trying to get "cooler", lol. I was a nerd but I was starting to get that tall dark and handsomeness about myself, so some chicks liked me but only if their friends weren't around. Don't that suck? LOL. But Hazel Eyes was the first that didn't care about my nerdiness. We used to walk the halls hand in hand. I went from a nerd to being popular, just based on the fact that I got this pretty girl to be mine. About a month into the relationship, we decided take it to the next level. Which meant that I was going to get my first piece. I still remember the day, Friday February 17, 1995. It was a half-day at school, so it was the perfect opportunity because her parents were at work. My father worked for Greyhound at the time so he was gone for days at a time anyways. The night before, seeing as though I was a virgin and unsure of what I was headed for, I needed some practice. But who can I ask? I could ask a friend, but I didn't want to seem like I couldn't handle it. So what did I do? I watched Boomerang. Yep, with Eddie Murphy and Robin Givens. I watched their love scene and rewound it a few times, trying to figure out the style and the motions. I know you all are laughing at me as I say this, but this is all fact, besides, what do you expect from a 15 year old? So the day finally came, we took the #53 Pulaski CTA bus to my crib, and upstairs to my father's room (he had the cable tv, and I wanted to set the mood by having BET Video Soul in the background. LOL.) I was nervous. I turned on the TV, and we sat there for a minute, literally. Then she says "Ok, I don't want to watch TV no more". Nervous on the inside, but trying to be cool on the outside, I told her to take off her clothes. Wow I can't believe this is happening. She is naked. LOL. Her tits weren't big (they've blossomed fully now, LOL) but still I had a pretty nekkid girl in the bed. My turn, I get naked, leaving the wife beater on (didn't want her to see the bird chest), then I *attempt* to put on a condom. Them Health ED classes don't help when its real life, and I put in on backwards. LOL. Then I corrected it, except I must've been too abrasive. It tried to put it in, and it broke. "What's wrong?" she says. I was embarrassed. "The condom broke!" It was like the scene out of The Wood....But she was cool. She went to her purse and gave me another. I was sure to put it on right this time. Now that settled, lets dive in! Except I've never done this before. I didn't know where it went. I didn't realized that you don't go into the pussy from the "top", but rather the "bottom". LOL. After she assisted in guiding me in (that's not it, nope, just a lil further down, there you go), I was finally doing it. The phone was ringing, but I wasn't going to answer. Unfortunately, it was my aunt. My great aunt, my 70 year old great aunt who stayed with us. After we were finished, we didn't have much time get her back to the North Side on the CTA. So as we're putting on our clothes, there's a knock at the door.

Uh oh, I aint supposed to be having no girls over. And the door was locked so my great aunt knew that I was home. I go to the door....

Great Aunt: Rob, what are you back here doing?
RM: Umm, sleep.
Great Aunt: No you're not, I would have seen it in your eyes.. You got a girl back here? I was at the neighbors and we seen you come in with a girl.
RM: No, she left.
Great Aunt: Ok, let me see.
RM: I'm telling the truth!
Great Aunt: Ok, well I just want to see....

So of course she comes back to the room and sees Hazel Eyes. Thank goodness we were fully clothed. I felt embarrassed, bad, and mad all at the same time. But my aunt was cool about it. She actually took Hazel Eyes home, and said that she would not tell my father. She told my grandmother, and eventually someone spilled the beans to pops, but it was months or even a year after the fact and I never got in trouble or had a real "talking to" about it.

Me and Hazel Eyes dated for the rest of the sophomore year, but we broke up toward the end. Why? Because she was a preacher's daughter (that old axiom about preachers daughters is true, true, true!) that was not supposed to have any boyfriend, let alone having sex. So one day, as I walked her home from school (she stayed close to the school), I then went to the McDonalds right down the street. As I'm line contemplating what I'm going to order, there's a tap on my shoulder.

"Can I talk to you for a minute?"

It was her father. The Reverend.

Part 2 maybe tomorrow, maybe not until Monday. I wasn't intending to write it like this but this is how it came out. I hope yall enjoyed it.

Thanks all for reading, more to come!!

Robert Mack


Blogger Dynasty said...

I LOVE HAROLDS! There is one walking distance from my mother's house. When I was home for Memorial Day I ate Harold's for one whole day. I had Chicken for breakfast. A 3 piece Catfish for lunch and Catfish nuggets for dinner. I know it's trifeling, but I have to get my fill. I also have to go to Fat Alberts on 69th and Ashland for an Italian Beef with Cheese and peppers. Then I hit Lem's for my ribs and hot links on 75th down the street from the "Old 50" Yard Line...LOL!!!!

Damn, I miss Chicago!!!

Thu Jun 22, 11:57:00 AM  
Blogger Knockout Zed said...

How you leave us hangin' like that?

Now dippin' out is called the ol' Knockout Zed? That's kinda appropriate.

I passed a Harold's when I was rollin' thru the Blues District. I guess I shoulda stopped!


Thu Jun 22, 01:13:00 PM  
Blogger Nika Laqui said...


GOOD LAWD, thats a long time....

Man, since I been back home I don't fuck with Harold's but when I was in Dallas, I missed the shit outta some Harold's...and yes, there are no WestSide Harold's, but low key Uncle Remus's got Harold's faded....Uncle Remus's is only out West, Ha....

But you right you have to go to a certain one, cause all of them don't cook it right....

Dynasty get out of my neighborhood, talkin bout Lem's...thats my stompin grounds...

Thu Jun 22, 02:23:00 PM  
Blogger Robert L. Mack said...

I guess I know what you'll be eating when you come this weekend huh?

If you miss Chicago then come back :)

Man I didn't even know the story was going to be like that...but what I got to say about the whole situation is going to take 2, maybe even 3 posts....I was going to ask if you had time to roll thru a Harolds, be careful, you'll get hooked!

This is a bad week, I got too much going on as far as work. And I'm tired as FUCK right about now, I still got 2 more nights at the cable spot...This new schedule is tough but I love having weekends off. But I was actually going to say that Uncle Remus is in fact better than Harolds, I was over at the one on Madison and keeler a few weeks back and the wings was fresh, just out the fryer!

Thu Jun 22, 02:49:00 PM  
Blogger The Stiltwalker said...

that was a cute story. maybe I'll tell my first experience one ! BET Soul!!!

so does this harold's serve grilled chicken?

Thu Jun 22, 03:43:00 PM  
Blogger Royce's Daughter said...

Fuk...your food description ain't helping the fact that it's 6:07pm and I'm sitting here eating oatmeal...ughhhh Unfortunately I am a vegetarian so Harold's probably wouldn't do nothing for me unless they got a good veggie plate LOL!!

Ok but why was I fukin dying when I read the whole "not knowing where to put it in line" I know it happens but you made me feel like I was right there...ewwwwwwwwww!!! I remember my first didn't even go in and our dumb azzes thought I was pregnant. I was so nervous and stressed that my period was about 3 weeks late LOL!! I was 17 years old then...the good old days!!

Monday? Mr. Mack Hell to the Nah!!!

Thu Jun 22, 05:15:00 PM  
Blogger Nika Laqui said...

Stilt-Harold's only serves fried chicken, gizzards, grilling...

Umm Rob, why was I just out and someone placed a flyer on my window for Harold's out West....but its called Harold's Wing House, I don't think thats the same....I'll check them out tho...

Thu Jun 22, 05:46:00 PM  
Blogger NegroPino™ said...

THat was funny and cute at the same time.......WHen my first time came the dude thought i was a pro....i knew exactly what to do......but i bet u dont have them problems now

Fri Jun 23, 09:03:00 AM  
Blogger Starr said...

Dayum we gotta wait until Monday? I love it!!! She seemed to have had a little experience...

Don't knock a PK.

Fri Jun 23, 09:48:00 AM  
Blogger Dynasty said...

@ Nsane: Girl, that's the only place we get our rib tips...LOL! Those are your stomping grounds...check you out.

@ Rob: Mos Def I'm getting some Harolds when I get there today. If I move back it won't be until next year...Im thinking about it though...

Fri Jun 23, 10:52:00 AM  
Blogger Robert L. Mack said...

Yeah we gotta wait til Monday, I got work (real work, LOL) cuz peeps wanna be on vacation so I swamped right now....gotta keep letting whitey think I'm an excellent

LOL, I think Donnie Simpson or Sherry Carter was still hosting the show. Nope Harolds is fried chicken, fish, gizzards and mild sauce (what is mild sauce? I think its some sort of concoction of hot sauce and ketchup i guess)

Harolds is far from vegetarian...everything is this is exactly how it went down, I should have her tell me her side of it, but she's real busy right now too..yeah those were the good ol days...getting caught by the teachers kissing in the hall.

Naw that aint a real HAROLDS...its gotta say chicken shack with the man chasin the chicken with a butcher

LOL...naw i can't say I have that problem you was a pro huh, if i recall you was only 13 right?

@ Echo (wait I thought it was vixen? you changing your name like Missy now????)
Sorry I'm working...I'm glad that you're liking it, cuz this is real shit, I don't even think I told anyone about the being busted by my old aunt part, so if my cousins smooth and tiger are reading then they know

LOL...there you go, save some for me!!!!!! Well if you do move back, I'll be here with open arms *wink*

Crowd, all together now: Aww.....

Fri Jun 23, 11:00:00 AM  
Anonymous MzNewAgenda said...

Not that the Rev. was bout to lay hands on you in Mickey Ds...yeah hurry up and finish this story LOL

Fri Jun 23, 01:29:00 PM  
Blogger Nika Laqui said...

*lol* Well that ain't the real deal....why they tryna perpetrate?

Fri Jun 23, 04:38:00 PM  
Anonymous Smooth said...

Yall gone like the rest of this story on the real, trust.

Mommi I am no where near married. I ain't even got a girl friend. Not they I can't handle a relationship, but in the words of DJAY, "You know it's hard out here for a pimp" Mack and I don't share per say but we have been known to eat of the same plate a time or two. And we've mos def contemplated the choo choo but I guess those days are over. Or are they? Mwoo ha ha ha, Mwo ha ha ha, cough cough, ha.

Fri Jun 23, 09:10:00 PM  
Anonymous Smooth said...

Oh PS, is it me or did someone ask if Harolds sold grilled chicken? That seems a lil to healthy for Young H A. And who in the hell would order it on the south side. Hey lemme get some Grilled Chicken with xtra mild sauce, negro please. But I haven't been home in a minute so they mighta gone low carb on a nuccka.

Fri Jun 23, 09:15:00 PM  
Blogger Starr said...

Sorry, I seen another vixen on my blog travels, I guess I wanted to be a little unique.

BTW--I am known for name changes, template changes, Template changes especially!

ohhhh Maybe I will post my first time???

Sat Jun 24, 10:56:00 AM  
Blogger Mr.Slish said...

At least you got the pussy. lol

Sun Jun 25, 10:00:00 PM  
Blogger Nika Laqui said...

*lol* @ Smooth!!!

Mon Jun 26, 02:34:00 AM  
Blogger Nika Laqui said...

Oh shit, Smooth....*ROFLMAO* at yo first comment...*LOL*

Mon Jun 26, 02:36:00 AM  
Blogger Robert L. Mack said...

Tomorrow, maybe. Still working hard over here.

Why you bringing up old stuff? LOL...Hey the way I look at it, as long as one of us hits, its a victory..Harolds aint went low carb nothing..still artery clogging as ever!

Hey please do! I didnt even know i was going to write about it, it just happened.

That must've been slasher talking for you, LOL...Yeah I got it...then and later...

I told you Smooth is crazy...he does and says things I only think about....that's my boy, my brotha!

Mon Jun 26, 01:10:00 PM  
Blogger Nika Laqui said...

Nah, you just said some real off the wall fly shit right there pimpin...

You might've fucked it up for both you and Smooth...*lol*

I can't let yall win...

I need to see how Mr. Smooth I can know whats in Dallas awaiting me...*lol*

Mon Jun 26, 03:41:00 PM  

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