My Greatest Enemy is My Inner Me

This blog will tell the story of an up-and-coming young black man in his 20's

Thursday, April 20, 2006


Normally on Wednesday nights, I'm headed home to watch some Around the Horn and Judge Mathis that's been stored on the DVR. I can't even make the first 30 mins of the show without falling asleep. See, I've worked both jobs on Mondays and Tuesdays, getting only about 4 hours of sleep in on said nights. Wednesday come and I need to recharge for the rest of the week, so I get home and try to watch tv but eventually the tv is watching me.... :)

This particular Wednesday, there would be a slight detour to my humble abode (at least I thought it would be slight). I was going to visit my grandmother, to help her get a new cell phone. Her old one stop coming on, and the guy at the store said that it was not the battery. Not sure of what to do (and not having the proper funds to buy another), I told her I would buy her another. Sidenote: That's one of the reasons I have 2 jobs, so that I can help out a family member in need, as long as its just a "couple dollars". LOL

I go to grandma's house, but she is not there. WTF? She's a Senior Citizen, she should be at home watching Matlock or Murder She Wrote. Oh well, I'll just head home then, because I am quite sleepy. Then I get a call from Tiger. We get the Hello's and Wzup's out the way, and she passes the phone to phone to our other cuz, Jazz the beautician/actress.

Jazz: Where you at
RM: Uh, on 47th and Lake Shore Dr.
Jazz: Alright, come by the shop.
RM (reluctantly..) Aiight.

surprisingly, my grandmother and one of my aunts are already at the shop. Cool, I can kill two birds with one stone here. I get there and Jazz is telling me about this play that she would like for me to be in. She told me about it the other day, but I just can't do it because, again I have the jobs and no time for myself hardly. But, the guy chosen to play this character in the play just stop coming, for reasons unknown. She really needs me to play this guy, and I'm supposedly going to get paid (But I'm skeptical on that front. I'll believe when I see it). Ok, fine. I do need some work, because I haven't done anything this year.

I guess this would be an appropriate time to tell the masses that I have interests outside of computer and cable companies. I'm also an aspiring quasi-actor, for I've been an extra in a few movies. If you blink twice you won't see me (LOL). My goal right now is to continue to work both jobs thru the rest of this year to save money (and get my TB), and then next year try to give as much time to my craft as possible, hoping for a speaking role in something, even if its to say a simple line like "I can get that for you". The difference between saying a few words on camera and being an extra is thousands, literally. This play is far from the Silver Screen, but it is work to put on a resume, you know?

So as Jazz's daughter hands me the script, I ask her which character is me. Her daughter says "Shawn. He's the main character."


The main character?

This play is scheduled for May 5th, 6th, and 7th. So, um.....that would mean 2 weeks to memorize the lines to the MAIN CHARACTER and work 2 in the hell am I going to do this?????

Throughout all of this, my aunt pulls me over to the side for a little chat.

Aunt V: Robert, you don't smoke blunts do you?
RM: Naw, I don't mess around
Aunt V: So you don't know a weedman?
RM (surprised): Naw auntie, I'm not sure. I mean I got boys that know peeps, but not me personally
Aunt V: Alright well take this, get rid of it for me (She hands me a lil nickel bag)
RM (laughing): Ok.

So now I got a bag on me, in addition to trying to learn this play.

As I'm skimming thru the play, The guy Shawn looks like an easy character to morph into, as he and I are similar : Hard working, messy crib, looking for love. Shawn is a little more lame than me though. He's ready to marry a chick after dating her for 6 months! Ok, I can do this (I think). Jazz informs me that there is rehearsal tonight. Damn, I am trying to get home to let my body regenerate some energy, but I haven't met any of these other actors and I need to build chemistry and rapport with them, especially the love interest that I'll have.

So we get to the rehearsal, and I come in, meet everyone, do the handshakes and pounds, and one of the ladies was like "hey you dropped something". I looked down and, low and behold, it was the nickel bag that my aunt gave me earlier. I forgot I even had the damn thing.

Talk about being embarrassed. And these are church folk. I pick up the bag, saying "It's not mine. I don't smoke, really" And they were looking like, "Uh-huh. Yeah. Sure". The only thing that would save me in the court of law would be a drug test, because right now I would be GUILTY! I felt so bad, but it seems as though it was quickly forgotten. But now, the next time an NBA player is busted for some weed in his car and he says "It aint mine", maybe I won't be so quick to judge. LOL.

Wow, my love interest is quite the cutie. Peanut Butter complexion, Tig Ole's and backfield in motion.....HIKE!.....There was one scene that called for us to come real close as if we're about to kiss, and it crept up on me....when I read it, I just started laughing hysterically. I just met this girl, and I'm supposed to be up on her like this? So after getting the laughs out, we continue the scene. After going over a few more acts, the rehearsal is over for the night. Everyone gives compliments to me, seeing as though I just got the script a few hours prior. Still, how in the hell am I going to memorize all of this? But, I look at it as a blessing, because I did wonder if I was going to do anything this year with me being so busy. Me and the lead "Jasmine" (because that's her characters' name) exchange numbers to get together for some extra rehearsal time one on one (hmm.....will life imitate art here......)

Again, how am I going to memorize all this in 2 weeks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Damn its now 11:00. I still haven't got any sleep, and I haven't ate all day. So I go to the local italian beef spot, and in there I see this FINE ass female....she look like a slightly darker, shorter version of Salli Richardson, for real. I put my order thru, and I notice that she's having back and forth banter with the guy washing the windows. Not sure what they were talking about, but I heard those 5 words that men love to hear. "I don't have a boyfriend. But its by choice. I just have associates". Now, if my game was tight, I was supposed to pounce on that right away. Instead, I let it register and continued to daydream. She's still going back and forth with the window cleaning dude, while chatting on her Sidekick. Damn, I know she aint say that for Habib the window man, that's gotta be for me right? Ain't no other dudes in here, and there's an older couple. She get's her food, and walks out. All the guys behind the counter say bye to her (cuz that's how dope she was), and I say bye too. Eff that, I gotta at least say something to I go out, trying to put my bid in, but she wouldn't let me get her number. She did take mine, though. Will she call? Doubt it, not holding my breath. But, she left me with something. She told me "Next time, try to talk to me while I'm still in the store".


A great woman told me "A closed mouth doesn't get fed". How true is that..............How true is that.........

Thanks for Reading,

Robert Mack


Blogger Dynasty said...

That is VERY true. You're making progress by even saying anything. She hit you with a preference on how she likes to be approached. I personally wouldn't have wanted you in my face while everyone else was in it. I would just shoot everyone down, including you. She wanted different...Keep practicing.

Good for you and the steps steps...LOL!

Lay the blunt down!

Thu Apr 20, 12:49:00 PM  
Blogger Robert L. Mack said...

Yeah I caught her looking at me in the store, so I should have fed off of that. Oh well. This is Chi-town....a million of her kind are around here somewhere...just gotta find them...I was at the Sprint Store in Hyde Park, and there was some cuties out there. That damn neighborhood so boogie, but females were in abundance. But I had Gmoms with me though, LOL

I hope the play works out too, I still haven't read it in full yet. 2 weeks.

Thu Apr 20, 01:28:00 PM  
Blogger Robert L. Mack said...

"Lay the blunt down"

You got jokes, huh?

Thu Apr 20, 01:49:00 PM  
Blogger Royce's Daughter said...

You'll do fine on the play...and Congratulations sounds like a good way to hone your craft.

As for shorty, I would just chalk it off to a learning experience. Not everyone will want to be approached in front of others so you dayumed if you do and dayumed if you don't...when it is the right one, you'll do the right thing at the right time and she'll respond. Until then do what you do and don't let a no become the frustration that takes you out!

You down one but you certainly ain't out :-)

Bet if you had that John Varvatos on that I told you about she wouldn't of been able to resist you!!! I told you it's something for the streetz!

Thu Apr 20, 01:50:00 PM  
Blogger i like liquor and tv said...

To help you get into character, pretend that the main girl in the play is your girl that spells like mothballs and a handfull of hot pennies. Bring her mothball's winter coat to wear.

lol@the weed falling out.

Thu Apr 20, 02:54:00 PM  
Anonymous Tiger said...

Yeah Lay, Jazz told me you started cracking up. Can't wait to see you in it cause you know I will be there me and my Prince. So ol girl is cute hunh you never know something might happen with that. I can't beleive Aunti gave you that I wander where she got it front and you droped it in front of the church folks now that's funny.

Thu Apr 20, 03:01:00 PM  
Blogger Robert L. Mack said...

@Royce's daughter
Yeah I mean at least I tried, you know? Normally I would have went home and thought about it after it fact like "damn i should said something"....I gotta see what's up with this greek guy cologne. LOL. Honestly RD I would probably say the amount of women that I talk to AND get their number are like 6 out of 10. But I was in the minors. I'm ready for the major league now. My pecentage my go down but in this league, 1 out of 10 is good!

You love talking about my girl Chappelle #1...LOL..leave her triple fat goose alone HA!! Handful of hot pennies!! That's the first I've heard that expression. She's a nice girl, just doesnt have that "IT" factor.

Man I'm sitting here trying to read this script now....yeah auntie sent me off. and then to have it fall out of my pocket.....oh well...

Thu Apr 20, 04:15:00 PM  
Blogger Nika Laqui said...

Why didn't you stash that shit somewhere???

LOL @ Auntie V, but hey I'll take that sack, is it some fiii? Must not be if Auntie getting rid of it...

Congrats on the part...

I know you is not bout to fuck with those boogie hyde park chics???...*lol*

Thu Apr 20, 04:25:00 PM  
Blogger Dynasty said...

What's so bad about the Hyde Park Chicks? I went to Kenwood and it wasn't "that" bad...LOL! Give the girls a break...LOL!

Thu Apr 20, 11:44:00 PM  
Blogger Robert L. Mack said...

I forgot I had the sack....I don't know the potency of it, knowing you it'll probably feel like just a black and mild to you (LOL)!!!

@ Nsane and Dynasty
Hyde Park chicks are cool. My girl can have a lil "boogieness" to her. I like a mix, lil bit of this, a lil bit of that . HP chicks are similar to North Side chicks. LOL.

Fri Apr 21, 09:04:00 AM  
Anonymous MzNewAgenda said...

Good luck in the play. I have no'll do fine....

Fri Apr 21, 09:54:00 AM  
Blogger Nika Laqui said...

Dynasty- I went to Whitney Young, I think the girls there are even worse in comparison. Kenwood was our rival school, bougies vs. bougies...*lol*

Fri Apr 21, 11:13:00 AM  
Blogger Dynasty said...

@ Nsane - LOL!! How ironic that you went. I agree, the WY chicks were the worst. We tried to out do each other...LOL! My 10 year reunion is in August.

Fri Apr 21, 01:55:00 PM  
Blogger Phoenix said...

You have to keep us posted as to you play progress. Also you should have shaken off the sleepiness and hollered at the chick.

Fri Apr 21, 04:03:00 PM  
Blogger Knockout Zed said...

"Next time, try to talk to me while I'm still in the store."

My experience has been thusly: Right now you betta decide how you want it with that chick you just met.

Anytime a woman dictates how you should have stepped to her before the first phone conversation is TROUBLE. Listen to your big brother Zed.


Mon Apr 24, 12:37:00 PM  
Blogger NegroPino™ said...

Can I have your autograph?

Mon Apr 24, 01:08:00 PM  
Blogger Robert L. Mack said...

read the next story.

read the next story. i did tried to holla at her, sleepy all.

She had gold digger written over her, but I've been wrong before. You're probably right big bruh. Like I say, there a lot of ones that look like her around here, just gotta find them.

LOL!!!!!! Sure. But I aint a star.

Mon Apr 24, 11:31:00 PM  

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