My Greatest Enemy is My Inner Me

This blog will tell the story of an up-and-coming young black man in his 20's

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

More about me

I'm a regular cat for the most part - Working everyday, trying to survive, wondering what the future holds. I love sports. Sports nerd. Sports junkie. My TV stays on ESPN. I've always toted a Chicago Sun Times everyday since high school, reading from the back (sports section) to the front. I pause whatever I'm doing if I notice TNA (tits and ass) in my vision (LOL). In my opinion I've lived a sheltered life, not because of strict upbringing but mainly because of being "scared to live". I'm scared of rejection because it feels like I've been rejected all of my life. I have big aspirations (more on that at a later date), but I'm afraid that I may fail so often I don't take chances. If I see a chick somewhere, I immediately think of all the reasons why I may not get the number.

She probably got a guy. She looking for a Captain Save-a-hoe. My gear wasn't tight at the time. My fade was not on point. I need to shave.

All of those thoughts run thru my head in a span of 30 seconds. I've even tried to read books on improving confidence, still to no avail. I don't think a book would help; I just feel it has to happen naturally. Honestly, I feel as though my insecurities keep me humble. I've had women tell me that they like the fact that I'm humble, and conversely I've had women tell me that I needed to be more "arrogant". Its funny how women complain about arrogance yet when comes down to it they are attracted to it.

What I look for in a woman

Ok, your boy Robert Mack is extremely picky. Let me give details why. When I was younger, I was told that I was ugly and I was a geek and only ugly chicks would like me, so that's what I believed. The girls didn't start to notice me until I turned about 15 or so (I grew to be 6'2'', 6 inches taller than both of my parents). Still I was geeky and didn't have "game" so I still was scared to get at the quote/unquote "pretty" chick.......And I spent most of my teenage/early 20's life feeling like this. Now that I'm older, I tell people that I need to make up for lost time, so now I find myself only interested in chicks that have it all - Even to the point where looks weigh heavily to me. Yes I know, I'm hanging out on the shallow end of the pool here. I'm not saying that looks are the only thing, but yeah I've been known to date a pretty chick that aint necessarily got it all in the head but she was "light skin with long hair" (namely my most recent ex-girl). I took a lot from that relationship, mostly that looks aren't everything. But let me also explain too that If I find a chick average looking, I get tired of them after a while (That's a gemini trait that I read somewhere). I have a very bad wandering eye. If I'm in the supermarket and I see a "nice one", if my girl aint bad like her, then I'm going to spend the next 5 minutes or so in La-La land thinking about the "supermarket" chick. So to avoid that, I try to hold out until I find chicks that have it all....looks, no kids, smart, knows somewhat about sports, she knows how to cook......BUT, if I see a potential chick like this out somewhere, again it's back to the negative scenarios in my head. I can't complain about my situation if I'm not willing to do anything about it, right?


What I want out of this blog


I'm just looking to reflect back on past relationships, get opinions from the viewing world, and to use this blog to jump start the rest of life as I creep into the mid to late 20's here. I want to have future stories to tell that are quite compelling, so to do this I need to "live a little". I'll try to end every post with Thanks for Reading because I'm truly grateful to anyone who takes time to read about my life.


Now let's get on with some stories!


Thanks for Reading,

Robert Mack

5 Comments:

Blogger TheOneandOnlyInsanely said...

I guess I'm out the box, cause I am with child......

Oh well, like the song on my blog says,
There's otha fish in the sea....

If you been reading my blog, then you can recognize my sarcasm....

Thu Mar 16, 05:29:00 PM  
Blogger Robert L. Mack said...

Insane:

LOL, no not necessarily...BUT after reading about the guys you've dated, I'm not sure if I'm "hood" enough for you..LOL...I mean don't get me wrong, I'm like 25% hood/ 37.5% nerd / 37.5% lame, but you've dealt with some straight thuggin dudes!

But honestly, I am going thru a "quandary" right now about a chick I used to date that has a daughter. Maybe I'll tell that story soon because she wasn't talking to me because I didn't want to be with her, but she just sent me an email yesterday explaining herself.

Fri Mar 17, 10:47:00 AM  
Blogger nikki said...

there will always be a 'badder' sista out there. you're gonna be dropping girlfriends for the rest of your life. LOL

Sat Mar 18, 07:23:00 AM  
Anonymous Prototype said...

you know....i wish you wouldn't continue thinking this way....whoever told you all that crap in your younger days is stupid. and seeing as i know you personally, i can speak on it. i'm gonna have to get creative next time you are here to start changing your mindset...

Wed Mar 29, 07:15:00 PM  
Blogger Robert L. Mack said...

@Prototype
Thanks. I think if I wasn't such an overthinker I would be ok. Shoot, I'll be down there exactly two months from now, show me the way!

Thu Mar 30, 10:04:00 AM  

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