My Greatest Enemy is My Inner Me

This blog will tell the story of an up-and-coming young black man in his 20's

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Current State of "Affairs"

If I heard it once.........This occurred last night.

I'm at the second job (the cable spot), this cool looking brotha says "what up" to me. I see him all the time, but I'm never one to spark up convos, especially because this is my second job and I'm trying to get my 6 hours in and out. But like I said, he's a cool looking cat, blue-black skin tone. Now I'm dark skinned but dude got a few shades on me! Anyways, I happen to sit next to him, so hey I might as well catch his name for future correspondence.

RM: Hey what's your name?
Ali: Oh I'm Ali, and yours?
RM: Robert

*handshakes are exchanged*

Ali: Hey I was thinking about this the other day, you know who you look like?
RM: Who's that?
Ali: Chris Webber.
*I start cracking up*
Ali: You've heard that before?
RM: (As I'm thinking about this blog) All the time man, Ever since high school, man. Ever since high school.

Ok, so you ask yourself, who's Rob been dating recently? Well let me just give a few summaries:

* I broke up with my ex "Southern Belle" in July of 05 but for good in December, about a week before christmas. It was a situation where we both knew that we weren't made for each other but tried to hold on, but we had one more falling out and that was it. Maybe I'll tell the full story later. I talked to towards the end of January, and she told me she had a new boyfriend. I'll let him have that headache.

* I was sorta seeing a chick I worked with at my job. Sorta. She was the one who came at me. In my three years of working at the computer company, I never dated anyone there. Probably because that place features a lot of older white people, and even after 3 years I'm still one of the youngest faces at that place. But this chick, who I'll call "Chappelle" (because she can act Dazed and Confused) is the niece of one of the supervisors. She's decent looking, brown skinned, medium brown eyes, and has some dimples. But, she does have a 2 year old daughter, and the other thing is, she's kinda "dusty looking". Now what does that mean? You know someone who smells like a basement, or smells like clothes that have been in a hamper? Yep that's her....the girl aint ghetto, but she had a "project" look about her, you know? She asked if we could hang out sometimes, and I told her that I could not make her any promises because I was working so much, and she was *cool* with that. So about a few weeks later, she came over to the crib, made some tacos (because I asked her just playing but she was more than happy to) and I provided the beef, in more ways than one! I guess you could say I knocked the dust off that pussy! And she was really feeling the boy, because we would get together a few times between December and January. She must've been extra horny one night because I hit that 4 times in one overnight session. I think that's a record for yours truly......but (because there's always a but), feelings started becoming involved. Now she doesn't want to mess around anymore because she wants more. And honestly, I gave it a little thought, but I knew that I would only be with her because I could hit that anytime, and I'll be secretly looking to "upgrade", and I didn't want to do her like that, especially because we still have to work with each other everyday, and I didn't want Auntie Supervisor giving me extra work for breaking her niece's heart. Well I doubt that would happen, but still :) So after I decline Chappelle's offer, she then tells me that she doesn't want to talk to me anymore. I wasn't happy because me and Chappelle formed a nice friendship, and I wanted to continue to talk to her. But she felt otherwise. Fine. Then a few weeks later, she changes her mind and tells me that we can still be friends, and she takes me out to eat. Then a week after that she tells me that "she thought she could handle us just being friends", she decided that she couldn't do it. Fine, again. You think it's over? Nope. A week after that, she sends me an email, her words exactly:

You may not want to hear much of what I have to say, but I feel like I owe you some kind of explanation. I'm not going to apologize for needing to step away from you for awhile including any kind of friendship. But I am sorry that I wasn't able to articulate what was going on because I know you don't really understand what happened. The truth is that there is no logical explanation. I don't even understand everything that I was feeling. But I do remember you saying that I must have a lot of built up anger at you, and I really want you to know that I don't. I'm not angry with you and I don't feel like you did anything wrong to me. I was just blinded by what I thought I wanted. The truth is that you're a really good person and you possess a lot of qualities that are missing in most men. But I also had to see that I can't get all wrapped up in something because I think it's what I want. I let my emotions overrule my mind and I think I may have messed up what could've been a really good real friendship. Believe it or not, telling you I didn't want to be your friend was very hard. But that's really what it took for me to just step out of the situation, clear my mind and evaluate everything that's gone on in the past few months. So, I'm sorry that my personal issues put so much of a strain on our friendship. I don't know if you'll understand and I honestly don't expect you to, but I do miss talking to you and I hate ignoring you everytime I see you. So if there's a chance that we can just be cool again and be able to talk and ask each other's advice, just reply and tell me we're cool. If you have anything you need to ask or get off your chest, feel free to let me have it. And if there isn't a chance we can be cool, then I understand.

I told her I was tired of the switching back and forth, but we could be cool. But I still haven't said more than "what up" since then.

*I almost had another girlfriend throughout all of this. I started seeing her right around the new year, she's 30 years old, no kids, great personality, light skin, and long hair. This chick is a little different as far as "gettin them draws". She came over to the crib a few times, and I didn't necessarily try to hit but whenever I would try to get close she would step back. She came over to the crib a few times, but no action. I even tried to get a kiss, but she tells me that she ain't ready for all that. A kiss? What is that? It's because she was really hurt in her last relationship and wasn't sure if she wanted to get into another. I ain't even asked for any of that, I just wanted a good night kiss! And why are you coming over to my crib spending time with me like this then????????? Anyways, I go out of town to see my fam down in Dallas, and I guess "Chappelle #2" (because she is another dazed and confused one) is really missing me, because she is calling me everyday while I'm down there. Sometimes, up to 3 times a day. WTF? I decide one day not to answer my phone, and she must've had a fit the next day!

C#2: So you aint answering your phone now? You don't want to talk to me?
RM: Why are you tripping so much!
C#2: Because I didn't realize how much I missed you.
RM: So what are you saying, are you trying to be with me?
C#2: I don't know, I think so.....

So I get back to the Chi, she's more than happy to pick me up from the airport even though I told her I was going the ride the orange line . We get back to my crib, talk about it, she says that she is not sure but wants to "try it out", and then later that night she calls me and says she can't do it because she is too busy and is going to be leaving for school in 6 months and "blah blah blah"....Ok so why put me thru the string of emotions then? That's why I call her Chappelle #2. I wasn't even looking for relationship at first, but the way she was blowing me up while I was in Dallas had me thinking otherwise.

*Last but not least, I had been seeing a chick over the past month, I met her just a couple of days after the "quasi-break up" of Chappelle #2, we were spending a lot of time with each other, but she lost her job (it seems like e'y chick I date got some issues!) and thought she was going to get evicted, so she's been spending a lot of time with family *and none with me :( * Now I've been trying to be understanding, but my other "guy" is telling me to move on. I've been blessed with this Saturday off from the cable spot, so It'll be my first full weekend off in quite a while, and my friend "Playmaker" is having a bbq, although its still 30 degrees here in Chicago. Maybe I'll try to go out with my cousin Tiger.

Hmm, maybe I'll send an email to InsanelySane.

Thanks for reading,

Robert Mack


Blogger i like liquor and tv said...

lol@ the dusty chick and you knocking the dust off.

chick smellin like mothballs and toilet water

But props to you. You seem to always have a variety of women..even though they all seem a little off.

Murs got a song on that 9th Edition cd that reminds me of your story.

Wed Mar 22, 02:45:00 PM  
Blogger TheOneandOnlyInsanely said...

Shut up,silly...roflmbao

I almost missed that high ass.....

It will never work I got kids, I mean a kid and I lost my job too, I have serious problems...tehy don't call me InsanelySane for nothing, Chris Weber....

mmmmm (*thinking to myself* "Only if he lets me call him Chris Weber for fantasy purposes....)

Umm, why didn't you tell me you was going to Dallas? How was the weather?

Wed Mar 22, 03:41:00 PM  
Blogger Robert L. Mack said...

@ Liquor and TV

...yeah, and its funny because her and her aunt live in the same house, and her aunt never smells like that! I think with just a little "seasoning", Chappelle #1 would be nice. Oh and I ain't never get her to bless the mic either, another downer in my book.

@ InsanelySane
Hey you never know, we ain't too far from each other....S. Side right, I saw your pics of the Green line at 63rd and King Dr and the 3 corners (79th/stony/s.chicago).... could call me Chris Webber if I could call you "Ms. Militant"! I'll definately be at full attention, LOL!!!

Wed Mar 22, 04:24:00 PM  
Blogger Robert L. Mack said...


The weather in Dallas was decent. I went down there at the beginning of February. Down there, 50 is cold to them but it was great to me. Me and my cuz Tiger are driving down there (provided I get my new whip by then) on my b-day weekend, which is also Memorial Day Weekend.

you down for a ROAD TRIP???????

Wed Mar 22, 04:27:00 PM  
Blogger Mr.Slish said...

Cmon Insane give R mack a shot...Rumor has it he got the ACT RIGHT JUICE you

Wed Mar 22, 09:22:00 PM  
Blogger Paula D. said...

Damn, drama comes in all forms! You keep finding chicks with issues for real....
This was a funny one!

Thu Mar 23, 08:37:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Great Blog.... I am up around the Deerfield area and I feel your far as these females go. Good Luck and Happy Hunting ....

Thu Mar 23, 04:27:00 PM  
Blogger TheOneandOnlyInsanely said...

LOL @ Mr. Slish, I need some ACT RIGHT???? *lol*

I hadn't noticied I needed some....

Thu Mar 23, 05:00:00 PM  
Blogger TheOneandOnlyInsanely said...

And hell no, I'm not tryna be no blog story....I write the stories aiight?!?!

Thu Mar 23, 05:01:00 PM  
Blogger Robert L. Mack said...

@ Anonymous: Thanks for coming by. Now leave a name! And what the hell is in Deerfield, besides the Bulls practice facility (Yeah the sports nerd is really coming outta me now to even know that!)

@ insanely:

I wouldn't do that to you. (Would I?)

Besides, I've been reading up on you. I'm not sure if I want to cross you. Hmm, I've got an idea....we could do a joint know a his and her side...oh never mind, let me stop with the fantasies.

Thu Mar 23, 10:12:00 PM  
Blogger i like liquor and tv said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

Fri Mar 24, 09:26:00 AM  
Blogger i like liquor and tv said...

lol@ yall ending up in each other's blog stories. You know I'll be reading too...with a bag of popcorn and a glass a wine by my side.

Fri Mar 24, 09:31:00 AM  

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