My Greatest Enemy is My Inner Me

This blog will tell the story of an up-and-coming young black man in his 20's

Thursday, March 30, 2006

Tagged, but I wish I could be Taggin (LOL)

First off let me say that today was the first day.

You know the first day.

That first warm day of the year. The mercury rose to a balmy 70 degrees today. Just the other night it was 30 and freezing. But that's how Chicago weather goes. No one 'round these parts will be surprised if we get dumped with a few inches of snow by next week.

But back to today. It was the first day, so you know how it goes.

N*ggas ready to show off them rims they've had in storage since the winter. Ready to drive up the block letting e'ybody know they got bass in their whip. Pulling up at the bus stop tryna get at females. Oh and females are bad too - They come outside with the ghetto sandals on. What are ghetto sandals? You know, the ones that got the flowery pom pom thing on the top that you can cop from the beauty supply store on the corner. And what's worse than them? The chinese joints. The ones that got the lace looking covering on the top, and come in different colors to go with all of your Tommy Sport fits (I'm hoping people don't still wear Tommy Sport).

So what's a striking, handsome young lad like myself doing on a beautiful night like this? Getting ready for a date you ask? Calling up Lil One to hit up a Thursday night spot in the Windy? Nope, how about sitting in front of a computer, eating some Popeyes , in some Sean John boxers. I'm such a social butterfly. But things are looking up, seeing as though I'm going to get this new whip (The Trail Blazer or the Explorer) by May 27, I need to work at the second job (the cable spot) a little while longer, maybe thru the summer. The part-timers received shift bids for new schedules. What is a shift bid you ask? That's where you put in a bid to get a better schedule, or just one that you are interested in. I currently work there Saturday nights until midnight, and it kills my weekend, because I hate driving all the way out to the burbs. It's bad enough that I have to do it during the week. By the time I get home, it's 12:45 and I'm ready to lay down and call it a night. Now if I had been doing my "job", I would have females waiting for me at the door for some late night lovin' (Speaking of which, remember Chappelle # 2 from the "Current Affairs" post? One time she told me that it was not ladylike to be coming over a guys crib after 12:00. WTF? I've never heard of that before. She one of them types thats tryna to be all into church now, which is fine, but don't be talking out of both sides of your mouth). But back to the issue, I'll find out what my new schedule is going to be on April 10. The point of telling you all that is to say that hopefully I will have weekends off for the summer so that I can get out of this "drought".

And I was tagged by Missy, and she's threatening me (LOL) to update my blog.

1.How old were you the first time? 15
2. Name of your first I'm going to call her "My First" because she may show up in future stories. We only did it one time, but I got back in contact with her in 2003 and we messed around off and on for nearly 2 years
3. Good or Bad? Meh....(that means ok)....I didn't know what I was doing.
4. Name of the worst and why- I messed around one time with this very unattractive chick, just because she was there. That's one that you'll deny if anyone asks!
5. Name of the Best and why- Hmm, probably a tie between Tiny and My First. Both chicks possess The Marsh. Click on the Tiny story to see what The Marsh means.
6. Weirdest place you ever had sex? My first encounter with Tiny. Not because of where, but because of who was around. Read the story for details.
7. Favorite position? From the back. Nothing like seeing a pretty ass that you can smack and grab
8. Ever fake and Orgasm? I don't know if men can do that. I never have
9. Would you admit it if the person asked? See # 8
10. Favorite time of day to have sex? Anytime is fine with me. But I like broad daylight so I can see what's going on
11. Most times you have had sex in one day? 4
12. Same person? Yeah, we was some f*ckin' rabbits that day
13. Ever fantasize about someone other than the one your with? Yes, a few times
14. Restrictions during sex? Well aint nobody stickin nothing up my ass.
15. Accessories? Just my tongue.
16. What? See above
17. Done it in the rain? Naw but it would be cool to.
18. Done it in a car? Yeah, with Chappelle # 1 in Dora (my Explorer). Nothing like glass tints.
19. Had a Threesome?No, but it is on my To DO list. I thought I found the one in my most recent chick I was dating, but she hasn't talked to me in a while for some strange reason.
20. Want to have sex now? I'm a man, what do you think?

Here's to a good weekend for all of you. Thanks for Reading

Robert Mack

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

*Indecent Proposal*

Before I get started, for those who care to notice, I always use the asterisk in the title whenever I go back into the past....but I bet you didn't notice (or care). LOL

I've only told this story to the fam and some close friends, but I said that if nothing compelling happened in the last few days I would delve into my past. Here goes....

I was watching Kanye West do a sit down session with Sway on MTV a few weeks back, and Kanye was telling his story of why he was homophobic. I instantly understood a lot of what he was talking about. Back in 6th grade when I transferred to a new school, for some reason, I started getting labeled with being called a faggot. Now I wasn't called faggot in the "like men" sense, but faggot and gay in the sense that I wasn't a bad boy that would get into shit. And the fact that I had a high pitched voice and sounded proper as a pre-teen in this ghetto school on the south side of Chicago didn't help the matter, either. Add that to the fact that I never stood up for myself or was scared to get in a tussle (although my cuz Smooth was there and he would have had my back all the way) also didn't help my situation. Anyways being called that really damaged my psyche, I mean I knew I wasn't a faggot, I was just misunderstood because my family taught us about watching the news and had us into politics at an early age, and ghetto kids see you as different from them so their only comeback is to call you names, like gay or faggot or nerd.

Fast forward to the this day in age of so many guys being gay and "DL", I try to stay away from anything that is not considered "manly". I try not to even associate with you are openly gay or have a "sweetness" about you...And this one occurrence made my stance on this issue even more staunch.

Back in 2002, there was a gay dude at my job. He was one of those flaming gays, he would tell you in a heartbeat that he liked of course I stayed away from him, but he started sitting in the same pod of folks that I was in, and eventually he started talking to me. Now I'm not a complete asshole, if you have conversation with me I'm going to be cordial to you. Still, I kept everything as short as possible. Well, thru ongoing confab's we disclose what parts of the city we're living in, I tell him the area that I live in and he tells me that he doesn't live too far away. Cool, right? Nope.......a few weeks later, "Flame"s car has to be put into the shop, and he's going to need a ride for a couple of days. And who does he ask? Yeah, you guessed it, me. Now I try my best to help people out in need because there may be a time when I might need that same help back, but I was leery of being seen outside of the workplace with this guy because I'm a quiet guy and this former job was like a high school, and you know how it is - people get to talkin'. I've been fighting the gay tag all of my life. This was a wound that I was not trying to open up again. But, hey it's just for a day or two, no big deal right? So I drop off Flame and pick him up and drop him off again over a weekend of working. No problems......

Then a few days later......he says that his car is not going to be ready yet so he needs a ride again for the weekend. I'm agitated, but I agree to help him out......But now he think's that we're cool enough for him to start being more friendly with me....I was working overtime and he walks over to me and says "So Robert, what time are we going home?"



I'm dropping you off at your crib, and I'm going home.

Now its about 45 minutes from the job back to the South Side of the Chi, so there's plenty of time to talk. Not that I wanted any part of it. I'm blasting music, trying to listen to whatever I can so that Flame could not talk to me. But Flame felt a need to talk.

As he telling me about his past gay travels (that I have no interest in), he then says "You look like you got a big dick. I can tell from the way you walk. You should let me suck it"...then he quickly comes back with "I'm just playing!"......."But you should let me"......

Talk about being uncomfortable. I laughed it off, but the 63rd street exit on the Dan Ryan Expressway could not come any faster. He then proceeds.

Flame: I'm telling you, men suck dick better than women because a man has one himself and he knows all of the spots
RM: (laughing uneasily) Well that's not something I want to find out
Flame: It's not gay to have a another man suck your dick
RM: Whatever. Anything you do sexual with another man is gay!
Flame: I'm telling you, I've done it with straight guys before
RM: Apparently, they aint straight!
Flame: Im serious. Besides, I only mess with thuggin gay dudes. Dudes who you wouldn't even think are gay are the kinds I like.
RM: (trying to get off of subject) Ok, here's your house.

At this point, I'm almost ready to throw Flame out the car while its still going, and dart off ASAP. But......

Flame: We're doing some remodeling in house, come in to see what we're doing.
RM: Naw man I gotta go (cuz I aint trying to let no one see me drop you off, let alone come in yo' crib?!?! although its like midnight in the late fall.)
Flame: It'll be like one minute
RM: aiight. (car is still running)

I go up to the house, trying not to even step foot in the door. Just peek in and out.

Flame: Come on up

So I reluctantly agree, looking around. I really didn't give a f*ck about the remodeling. I was trying to get up outta there.

RM: Aiight, gotta go
Flame: You sure you don't want me to try that out for you? Just one time?
RM: Nope, I'm good
Flame: Well you know I would never tell anyone...
RM: Shit, I would know. That's enough

So I left up outta there in a hurry, and I was truly disgusted.....Luckily, Flame got fired from the job a few days later, so I wouldn't be his limo no mo' :)

So nowadays, If you're an openly gay man? Stay the F*ck away from me. Don't expect a word outta me. Not even the head nod or the index finger. Even if I think you might be gay, you might get a "what up" in my deepest, manliest voice possible.

Monday, March 27, 2006

The Weekend that WASN'T

So much for the big weekend.

Saturday, I did go to my boy "Playmaker's" crib for his bbq, even though it was like 35 degrees. It was a typical kickin' it session - Shit talkin', games of Spade and Poker, weed smokin' (I don't take part in that, I'm such a lame....) It felt good because I haven't hung out with all of my boys since October, when "Blueprint" got married. I call him that because he's sorta the blueprint to success. He's the same age as me, 26, but he owns a few buildings in Chicago and has a beautiful wife and lives in a nice house in the burbs. Blueprint was the only one missing today, but the others (Playmaker, Big One, Lil One, and myself) were in the building. I need to come out more often, but the 2 jobs prevent that as well as I have a tendency to be a loner when things aren't going well. Well, actually , I'm quite the loner. I'm surprised I even still have friends. I come up with so many excuses as to why I don't want to come outside. But these are the same friends I had for 13 years now, since freshman in high school, and they've become family. So after kickin it until about 11, I drop Lil One off at the crib and I head home.

Saturday night and not a female to call, well at least not any that I'm interested in.....Wait, lemme backtrack - what's the deal with yall females that are married or got "guys" yet still want to try to holla at me? On Friday, this chick at my second job is taking a liking to me (as in she the one doing the courtin'), she asks me to walk her out to car to talk while her whip warms up. We get to the car, and she's asking all about me, trying to pick my brain, then she says in a matter of fact way, "Well I am married. And me and my husband are still together". So what the f*ck was all of the back and forth banter all about then? "Well my husband is ok with me having friends, I mean we can go out to a bar, but of course he'll probably want to come"..........Naw that's ok, I'm not interested. I ain't sure what you tryna do, but I aint having no parts of it. I might sound like a true lame to the fellas here, but I feel like I'm worth more than being some married or involved chick's sidepiece. Now yeah I did holla at the married chick last year, but that was partly because I was curious, but I did that and its over and I highly doubt if I go that way again...

Back to Saturday what I should have done was ask Lil One to go out to a club where some prospective females would be, but I bitched up and just dropped him off. I've always had this perception of Lil One that he would never be interested in going out, but earlier we talked and he said he would be down. Well I need to get out of this rut, so Lil One is about to be drafted as my "Going Out Partner", cuz you can't go to the club by yourself. Somebody gotta be there to laugh at your ass when you try to get at that chick and she doesn't even acknowledge you (LOL).

Sunday I watched some team named George Mason make it to the NCAA Final Four by beating UCONN, who I picked to win it all. There goes my bracket, although it was effed up from the first weekend. I was supposed to go bowling with my cuz Tiger, but I didn't even do that. See, what had happened was (lol) I needed to go washing really bad. I'm talking like probably 3 months worth of clothes. Trifling, yes. I'm the type that will continually by new clothes instead of washing. But I promised myself that I was going to wash sometime before the weekend was done, and Sunday was the day. I feel bad because I told her for the last few days that I was going to be down, but again, Mr Anti-social strikes again!

Oh, and I guess I got tagged by InsanelySane, so here goes:

10 different points of my perfect lover.

"She" must

1. Be ambitious.
Don't like chicks who don't at least have some goals in life

2. Like sports.
Of course not on the same level as me, but at least to the point where we can have a relevant conversation

3. Know how to cook.
I aint asking for the 7 course meals, but just the regular stuff (spaghetti, steak, chicken, I'm hungry)

4. Be able to hold a conversation, be versatile
I like chicks who can talk about who Flava should have kept, and then turn around and tell me how to diversify my portfolio. I love smart chicks.

5. No kids, no baggage, own job.
I put that all into one. Pretty self explanatory. Maybe if got one shorty (*Insanely*), I could make an exception.

6. She has to understand me.
Very important. I can be a complex person at times, one minute I might be hugging and kissing and the next minute I want my space. She can't let my unbalanced ass get to her.

7. Tell Jokes, be silly
I love silly chicks, because I'm silly myself. We all have that kid in us, somewhere.

Annnnd Now....

8. On the same level sexually as me.
Well ok, maybe not same level, but only a notch below. She can't turn her nose up at a new "thing" I might want to do.

9. Gotta "slob the knob"
To quote Biggie, "#9 should have been #1 to me".....Can't stand chicks who don't do it at all, or who act like it's a chore to do it. (You know, sigh or come up with excuses)..She aint gotta be like Tiny but I would like her to "service until completion".

10 a. Looks
Let me throw this disclaimer out there: I love black women, all colors and shapes....that being said, I'm a sucker for high yellow females (As I hear the collective BOO'S from the non-yellow crowd). It's a Catch 22 at times because those said females can be very stuck up and all about "what can he do for me" which I despise, but there is a magnetic attraction that I cannot explain. That being said, If she got the first 9 I don't care what color she is.

10 b. Body
A chick with a phat (not fat) ass is LOVE!.......Tits are nice, but aint that big of a deal to me.....and quite honestly, I like skinny chicks....find me a skinny light skin chick, and I'm there...LOL.....

Any "females" (and I can't stress that enough!) out there that's up to that challenge and you're in the Chicagoland area, hit me up.

Thanks for reading and sticking with me,

Robert Mack

Thursday, March 23, 2006

Motion Sickness, Blog Reading, and Other ish

I had to leave the work spot early today, to go to the Will County Court office to file a motion to vacate. I got 2 tickets, 1 apparently in 2000 that I don't remember and 1 in 2001 that I do remember. I honestly don't remember ever receiving court dates for either, but in any event, I cannot get my license renewed until I get this matter resolved. Worst case scenario is I gotta pay a 1500 fine, which at this point, is ok as long as I get it over and done. It will delay my hopes of purchasing my new whip by a few weeks, but I've set my B-Day (May 27, my golden b-day cuz I'll be 27) as the goal, which I feel is more than affable. I'm just hoping that Dora (which is what I call my 96 Explorer) can last until then. They say she's been leaking anti-freeze into the head gasket which will eventually blow, so instead of paying g's to get it fixed I'd rather put that into a new one. I got her in 2004, my first SUV. One of the happiest days in my life. I'm hooked on them now, as I can't see myself driving a car anymore. My choices are either a newer Explorer or a Chevy Trail Blazer. Any opinions?

Back to the tickets. All I can say is "Eff the suburbs!" That's why I'm a city guy. In my 10 years of driving, I've never been stopped by the Chicago police, except once, for running a red light (which I felt was yellow, but anyways). They may ride up behind you for a hot second, but unless they got some major info on you, they zoom right by. But suburban police? Them fuckers ain't got shit else to do, so they try to stop you for minor shit like a headlight being out or driving with your tags expired, and then they try to get you on other shit too. I lived in the burbs with my ex back in 2001 (which explains one of the tickets) and I had my tags expired, and I must've gotten stopped like 5 times in a 1 to 2 month span. After me and her broke up, I couldn't wait to move back to the city....My court date is April 6. I think I'm going to go for the suit jacket and glasses look and hope the judge woke up on the right side of bed that morning.

* My accounts at work were surprisingly slow today, so I had a lot of free time. So what did I do? Read up on 2 of my favorite bloggers, InsanelySane and Missy aka Ms. New Booty. I mean like I went into the way back machine (archives) to see what was up with these two characters. Wow, these two have both been thru struggles but have survived. I'm in awe of you two ladies for holding it together in trying times. Honestly, I read up on Missy a lot because....(as I'm going into spill guts mode..) she is the type of chick that I would be intimidated to talk to. Especially since, judging by what she says in her blog, homegirl got a "mouth" on her. But she seems like as soon as you get to know her she's a fun person........That's always been my problem...I overthink too much and become intimidated with the opposite sex. Lemme give an example....There's a chick at my second job (the cable spot), half black and half puerto rican, with a J-LO ass! Maybe even bigger than hers. She might be fucking with Buffy the Body! (Gratuitous pic for the fellas, and ladies who like that kind of thing.) Anyways I was always scared to talk to her, but one day I sat next to her around christmas and she's talking to her friend about some new lotion that she's using that makes her body soft, and out the blue she's says "hey you (talking to me) - come feel the top of my shoulder - don't that feel soft?".....ummm, yeah it does (LOL) she asks for my name, I tell her, and that was it. I still didn't say much to her.....A couple of weeks went by, I sit by her again, I'm still quiet, and she calls me the wrong name. I correct her. Then she says, "well maybe if you talked more I would remember your name!"....Now that she knows my name, every time I see her she always says hi to me. And not like a head nod or the index finger (LOL).
It's always "Heyyyy Robert". See if I would open my MF'n mouth, I wouldn't be in the position I'm in a lot. Now would I ever try to get at her? I highly doubt it. She's pretty and has a dope body, but she's kinda too loud for my liking and is one of them types that's always talking about money or what a guy has or doesn't have, and I'm not sure if there's more to her past the surface. And after dating "Southern Belle" for a year or so, I'm really into smart chicks. That's a turn on for me.

You all can think of me as a ball player with all the skills but can't put it all together. I got a little game. (LOL). Whenever I'm on the phone, women tell me that they love my voice, it sounds smooth and professional. It's not deep or anything, but I do like my voice. I always liked my father's voice so I guess you can say I my pattern my vocals after him and since he's my father I'm going to naturally sound like him anyways.

Ok, the last chick in my previous story, the one I was currently dating (emphasis on was), Is getting real close to being put on the list. You know the list. The Pay-No-Mind list. I'm trying, really, really, really hard to not give up on her because things were going great until she endured her own problems, but Rob likes attention. Rob craves attention. Rob needs attention, in order for this man-woman thing to work (sorry I went into Max Julien mode there). Well she has not been giving me the attention I need, the last I talked to her (last Saturday) she said that she has a new car now and that she's collecting unemployment and she's also making money on the side (she's a web/graphic designer). Ok so it sounds like things are headed back to normalcy (always wanted to use that word, LOL), and she said she was going to try to see me, but she hasn't called. She sent me a text message on Tuesday night asking how I was, but I didn't respond for a few days. You make me wait, I'm gonna make you wait too. Yeah, petty, I admit. I ain't perfect. But I did text her and email her earlier today, and even called her later on. No responses, yet. Tiger tells me not to be "that way" and just give her time. Do I have to tell the world again how impatient I am again?

Well this is a big weekend for me, you know with me being off Saturday and all. Let's hope I come up on some numbers, or at least a visit from my recent "friend".

Thanks for Reading,

Robert Mack

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Current State of "Affairs"

If I heard it once.........This occurred last night.

I'm at the second job (the cable spot), this cool looking brotha says "what up" to me. I see him all the time, but I'm never one to spark up convos, especially because this is my second job and I'm trying to get my 6 hours in and out. But like I said, he's a cool looking cat, blue-black skin tone. Now I'm dark skinned but dude got a few shades on me! Anyways, I happen to sit next to him, so hey I might as well catch his name for future correspondence.

RM: Hey what's your name?
Ali: Oh I'm Ali, and yours?
RM: Robert

*handshakes are exchanged*

Ali: Hey I was thinking about this the other day, you know who you look like?
RM: Who's that?
Ali: Chris Webber.
*I start cracking up*
Ali: You've heard that before?
RM: (As I'm thinking about this blog) All the time man, Ever since high school, man. Ever since high school.

Ok, so you ask yourself, who's Rob been dating recently? Well let me just give a few summaries:

* I broke up with my ex "Southern Belle" in July of 05 but for good in December, about a week before christmas. It was a situation where we both knew that we weren't made for each other but tried to hold on, but we had one more falling out and that was it. Maybe I'll tell the full story later. I talked to towards the end of January, and she told me she had a new boyfriend. I'll let him have that headache.

* I was sorta seeing a chick I worked with at my job. Sorta. She was the one who came at me. In my three years of working at the computer company, I never dated anyone there. Probably because that place features a lot of older white people, and even after 3 years I'm still one of the youngest faces at that place. But this chick, who I'll call "Chappelle" (because she can act Dazed and Confused) is the niece of one of the supervisors. She's decent looking, brown skinned, medium brown eyes, and has some dimples. But, she does have a 2 year old daughter, and the other thing is, she's kinda "dusty looking". Now what does that mean? You know someone who smells like a basement, or smells like clothes that have been in a hamper? Yep that's her....the girl aint ghetto, but she had a "project" look about her, you know? She asked if we could hang out sometimes, and I told her that I could not make her any promises because I was working so much, and she was *cool* with that. So about a few weeks later, she came over to the crib, made some tacos (because I asked her just playing but she was more than happy to) and I provided the beef, in more ways than one! I guess you could say I knocked the dust off that pussy! And she was really feeling the boy, because we would get together a few times between December and January. She must've been extra horny one night because I hit that 4 times in one overnight session. I think that's a record for yours truly......but (because there's always a but), feelings started becoming involved. Now she doesn't want to mess around anymore because she wants more. And honestly, I gave it a little thought, but I knew that I would only be with her because I could hit that anytime, and I'll be secretly looking to "upgrade", and I didn't want to do her like that, especially because we still have to work with each other everyday, and I didn't want Auntie Supervisor giving me extra work for breaking her niece's heart. Well I doubt that would happen, but still :) So after I decline Chappelle's offer, she then tells me that she doesn't want to talk to me anymore. I wasn't happy because me and Chappelle formed a nice friendship, and I wanted to continue to talk to her. But she felt otherwise. Fine. Then a few weeks later, she changes her mind and tells me that we can still be friends, and she takes me out to eat. Then a week after that she tells me that "she thought she could handle us just being friends", she decided that she couldn't do it. Fine, again. You think it's over? Nope. A week after that, she sends me an email, her words exactly:

You may not want to hear much of what I have to say, but I feel like I owe you some kind of explanation. I'm not going to apologize for needing to step away from you for awhile including any kind of friendship. But I am sorry that I wasn't able to articulate what was going on because I know you don't really understand what happened. The truth is that there is no logical explanation. I don't even understand everything that I was feeling. But I do remember you saying that I must have a lot of built up anger at you, and I really want you to know that I don't. I'm not angry with you and I don't feel like you did anything wrong to me. I was just blinded by what I thought I wanted. The truth is that you're a really good person and you possess a lot of qualities that are missing in most men. But I also had to see that I can't get all wrapped up in something because I think it's what I want. I let my emotions overrule my mind and I think I may have messed up what could've been a really good real friendship. Believe it or not, telling you I didn't want to be your friend was very hard. But that's really what it took for me to just step out of the situation, clear my mind and evaluate everything that's gone on in the past few months. So, I'm sorry that my personal issues put so much of a strain on our friendship. I don't know if you'll understand and I honestly don't expect you to, but I do miss talking to you and I hate ignoring you everytime I see you. So if there's a chance that we can just be cool again and be able to talk and ask each other's advice, just reply and tell me we're cool. If you have anything you need to ask or get off your chest, feel free to let me have it. And if there isn't a chance we can be cool, then I understand.

I told her I was tired of the switching back and forth, but we could be cool. But I still haven't said more than "what up" since then.

*I almost had another girlfriend throughout all of this. I started seeing her right around the new year, she's 30 years old, no kids, great personality, light skin, and long hair. This chick is a little different as far as "gettin them draws". She came over to the crib a few times, and I didn't necessarily try to hit but whenever I would try to get close she would step back. She came over to the crib a few times, but no action. I even tried to get a kiss, but she tells me that she ain't ready for all that. A kiss? What is that? It's because she was really hurt in her last relationship and wasn't sure if she wanted to get into another. I ain't even asked for any of that, I just wanted a good night kiss! And why are you coming over to my crib spending time with me like this then????????? Anyways, I go out of town to see my fam down in Dallas, and I guess "Chappelle #2" (because she is another dazed and confused one) is really missing me, because she is calling me everyday while I'm down there. Sometimes, up to 3 times a day. WTF? I decide one day not to answer my phone, and she must've had a fit the next day!

C#2: So you aint answering your phone now? You don't want to talk to me?
RM: Why are you tripping so much!
C#2: Because I didn't realize how much I missed you.
RM: So what are you saying, are you trying to be with me?
C#2: I don't know, I think so.....

So I get back to the Chi, she's more than happy to pick me up from the airport even though I told her I was going the ride the orange line . We get back to my crib, talk about it, she says that she is not sure but wants to "try it out", and then later that night she calls me and says she can't do it because she is too busy and is going to be leaving for school in 6 months and "blah blah blah"....Ok so why put me thru the string of emotions then? That's why I call her Chappelle #2. I wasn't even looking for relationship at first, but the way she was blowing me up while I was in Dallas had me thinking otherwise.

*Last but not least, I had been seeing a chick over the past month, I met her just a couple of days after the "quasi-break up" of Chappelle #2, we were spending a lot of time with each other, but she lost her job (it seems like e'y chick I date got some issues!) and thought she was going to get evicted, so she's been spending a lot of time with family *and none with me :( * Now I've been trying to be understanding, but my other "guy" is telling me to move on. I've been blessed with this Saturday off from the cable spot, so It'll be my first full weekend off in quite a while, and my friend "Playmaker" is having a bbq, although its still 30 degrees here in Chicago. Maybe I'll try to go out with my cousin Tiger.

Hmm, maybe I'll send an email to InsanelySane.

Thanks for reading,

Robert Mack

Sunday, March 19, 2006

*How did she do that? Part 1 and 2*

Ok, you all got a chance to read a lighter side of me, but now its back to the basics. I've been wanting to tell this story ever since I read my blog homeboy Knockout Zed tell the world of his experience with a chick he nicknamed "Charlize Theron" because she was a "Monster" on giving head. His story was so good that it made me reminisce on this one chick I used to mess around with a few years back.

*Part 1*

Her name was Tiny (because she was probably 110 pounds soak and wet, and barely had TNA but would swear she had a body), she was about 3 years older than me, I worked with her at my previous job and she was average looking. I would say 6.5, maybe 7 on a good day. But she took a liking to me, and one day she had to sit next to me to listen to me take some calls and while doing so, she was talking a gang of shit to me about how sexy I was and how her pussy is always wet. And to add fuel to the fire, she decides to get real up close and personal with me by placing her hand under the table and rubs my dick to a nice "Chubb Rock" level (LOL. Whatever happened to him anyways?). These people yelling in my ear ain't so bad when you're getting a hand job in the process, :)

So at this point I'm ready to get down wit the get down. Put your money where your mouth is (Or least my dick, LOL). She tells me that its going to be hard for us to get together because her mom and her lil brother are living with her in a one bedroom apt. Ok, no prob. I got my own place. But she says that it's not that easy because she doesn't have a car. No prob again. But again she says she'd rather wait until she gets the fam thing situated before doing anything else. Fine, settle the fam ish and get back at me.....So a month or so goes by and we still haven't did the do. And as I told you all in the previous post, "I got no patience/And I hate waiting", and at this point I'm like eff it. And so I guess to prove a point, she was like, "Ok, come over Sunday night around midnight". She stayed fairly close to the job , so I could spend the night and go from there.

I get there, and yep, you guessed it - people was e'ywhere. Her moms and her boyfriend was in Tiny's room. Tiny and her daughter are sleeping on the couch. Tiny's lil brother is sleeping on the floor. So I'm like, "Awe man, I'm going back home". And I was mad. Because Tiny lived all the way in Romeoville, which is a suburb about 45 mins from the South Side of Chicago (and I stay in South Shore right off Lake Michigan so that's really SouthEAST). And its already about midnight or so, and I had to be at work at 6:00 am. And Tiny tells me "See this is what I've been talking about. But I didn't want you to think I've been blowing you off." At this point, I'm like "fine I see", and I'm heading to the door and but she stops me, saying "Please don't go. I'll make it worth your while if you stay", and she turns around and rubs her ass on my dick and turns again and we begin to french kiss". So yeah, she convinced me to stay (LOL).

Tiny: Go sit over on that chair, and I'll be right back.
RM: Cool

She goes off for about 5 minutes, and comes back into the living room with a baseball jersey on, and nothing else under it. I guess you can say it was "Game Time". She sits on top of me, we get to kissing, and she gets off of me to unbuckle my belt and pants. She then begins to consume my "man". Now I'm still fairly young, 22 at the time, and I think this was the first time I've ever had a chick that I didn't have to coax into a blow job. As she's neckin' and chinnin', I go to finger her, and whoa!, she wasn't lying because her pussy was extremely wet. I'm talking like that movie, "A river runs through it", because that's how wet it was. Me and Smooth refer to these chicks as having "The Marsh", because not every chick can dampen to these proportions. But back to the head session. Remember, I said earlier that her lil brother was on the floor and her daughter was on the couch. So we had to keep it quiet. I've never done anything like this with people in the room, let alone some kids. Maybe the slurping must've woke up the lil brother, because he looks up, squinty eyed, and I'm thinking like "Uh oh", but Tiny didn't know that her lil brother was up, and I was going to wait for the lil brother to say something, but fortunately it was very dark in the l'room, and lil brother must've thought he was dreaming because he went right back to sleep after sitting up for about 15 seconds. Whew! After the nice BJ, we then have sex. She has the ride me the whole time because I'm sitting on a chair if you've been paying attention (LOL). "Oh Shit, I'm about to cum" she whispers in my ear. Nothing like hearing a chick tell you that because that means you've done your job. So she came and I came a few minutes later, and somehow, I managed to sleep in that chair for about 5 hours.

(Ed. note) I didn't realize that the story would be this long, so Ive broken it down to a part 1 and 2. I haven't even got the main part of writing this post yet, LOL. Keep Reading.

*Part 2*

Me and Tiny have a few encounters over the next 2 years or so. One night, she came over to the crib, and I'm ready for another "ballgame". She says "I'm sorry, I'm on my period right now." DIZAM!
Aiight, cool. I'll go to sleep. But my dick was still "Up". I swear I felt like a lil kid asking my mom to go outside, when I asked her "You feel like doing something for me?"
She knew exactly what I was talking about. Usually, the chicks that I dealt with in the past would have told me "No, "I'm too tired, I don't feel like it", or just didn't do "that" at all. But Tiny was different. She didn't ask no questions and began to suck me off. Man that girl was good. It was like she knew the right combination of suck, lick, suck, lick, etc. This is where the climax of the story, literally and figuratively begins. I tell her "Tiny, I'm about to cum". At this point , again, most of the chicks I dealt would have quit slobbin' and hand jobbed me the rest of the way through. But Tiny kept sucking. I pleaded to her again "Tiny, I'm about to cum". I even tapped on her head but she pushed my hand away, so I was like eff it. I busted real good and loud, probably sounding like Lexington Steele all while she kept going. Eyes rolled to the back of my head and back around again! So now I'm ready to go to sleep, but there's only one problem: Tiny is still going at it! The girl never came up for breath! I'm thinking like, ok she obviously know I came, why is she still sucking? Then it hit me: My dick was still hard. Normally after a nice nut, I've shrunk and I'm ready to retire for the night. But she kept me up, and *oh my goodness, I can't believe it*, I'm about to nut again! And I burst in her mouth for the 2nd time in a span of 10 minutes. A back-2-back nut. That never happened to me up until that point, and it has not happened since. After I was done, I pulled her up and I held her really tight and I remember I had a big ass kool-aid smile that night on my way to sleep. Wow, indeed.

So you ask what happened with Tiny? Well, she talked about how she wanted another baby, and in so many words, wanted me to be the one, not to mention that she told me one time that her daughter asked was I going to her daddy, and I never really looked at Tiny than more than a side piece, so our thing kinda fizzed out. But I can tell you all that still to this day she's probably in my top 5, maybe even top 2 or 3, of all time when it came to "gettin down". I miss her marsh quite much. (Try to say that 5 times really fast. Bet you can't do it!)

Thanks for Reading (cuz I know it was long),

Robert Mack

The Lighter Side of Me

As I stated in my first post, not every story is going to involve me and PTA (pursuing The Ass..), and I wasn't expecting to write a non-PTA story so soon, but that's why they say "you never know what the future holds".......

Ok, so Sereday (Saturday but I'm sure you know peeps who say it the other way) afternoon at about 12 sharp I get a call from my boy, Big One sounding quite anxious (Side Note: Why is he called Big One? Because I have two friends who are uncle and nephew to each other but are only 8 days apart in age and they both have the same name, so to differentiate them we call them Big and Lil. Lil will probably show up in future stories).

Big: Where you at?
RM: On the way to the bank
Big: You got a girl with you?
RM: Naw, why you ask?
Big: You got any of your guys with you?
RM (getting angry) : Man what the fuck are you getting at?
Big: Man somebody just gave me tickets to the Bulls vs Heat game, 100 level , that start in an hour, and I can't go. So I'm trying to call anyone to see if they can go. I can't let them go to waste.
RM: Oh shit!!!! Aiight lemme make some calls and see what I come up with. Aiight I'll call you back in like 15 minutes
Big: Please do that.

So after being unsuccessful in calling a chick, I think to myself "Hmm, I haven't taken my little brother to any sporting events in quite a while, let me call my mom and see what's up". Let me give some insight: I have like 3 brothers and 1 sister on both sides of my family, but my parents only had me together. And this particular brother is on my mom's side, and It pains me that I am not close with him. Part of it has to do with me working so much (Sundays are my only day off from both jobs at the same time), part of it has to do with the way my mom raises my little brother and sister and I get depressed when I do visit, and the biggest part is that my 13 year old brother is a lil "slow". He needs medication to keep him calm but my mom doesn't always give it to him, and he can become quite unbearable (at least to me). Laughing for no apparent reason. Asking a ton of questions. Being loud. And the fact that I have NO PATIENCE whatsoever doesn't make the situation better. I'll never forget the one time we were at the Ford City Mall and he saw Santa Claus and straight bum rushed him! Never mind that there were other little kids in line, he decided he wanted Santa to know what he wanted right then and there. I was so embarrassed. I will say that when it is just me and him, he isn't as bad. He tends to act up more when there is more family around. So I call my mom and she said "He would love it!". I even hear "Dennis" (because they call him Dennis the Menace sometimes) in the background saying "Please take me, Rob!". So hey, I would have been content watching the Bulls game from the crib (cuz yall know I'm a sports junkie), but hey this is a great chance to watch them up close and I get to hang out with Dennis.

*Ok, after trying for the last hour of uploading the pics from the game so you all could see how close we were, I've given up. Blogger keeps saying I've successfully uploaded the pic but I still don't see anything. I'm not not sure what I'm doing wrong, but oh well. We were only 13 rows up from courtside.*

For the most part, Dennis was well behaved at the game. Asking a ton of questions nonetheless, and his favorite part of the game wasn't even the game itself. It was when the people on the court were throwing shirts into the crowd. He even got a lil bored and pulled out some hot wheels and played with them. But I was very much into the game, yelling out things such as "That's a travel!", and "You gotta shoot that Duhon!", and it was a very good game, unfortunately, the Bulls, in their St. Patricks Day green uniforms lost 85-84. But I left the United Center smiling. Why you ask? Because at that point, I couldn't care less about the game, I got a chance to hang out with my little brother Dennis and that's a victory in itself.

Thursday, March 16, 2006


My cousin Smooth is my best friend in the world. He is more like my brother; we grew up together before we both moved away to live with our fathers as teenagers. Growing up with him was a trip because all the little girls liked him and didn't like me. He's peanut butter complexion. He got that "good hair". He's charismatic. I call him my alter ego because we both think alike on a lot of things, except I only "ponder", he actually goes and does it. He sees a chick he's diggin, he's going to put a "bid" in. He's always been a big guy but he never lets that keep him down. I always tell him that If I had his confidence and swagger, I would be unstoppable. Why am I telling you all this? Because he's always beaten me at "conquests". First to french kiss a chick. First to get his knob 'slobbed. First to even handle a "menage a trois" (I'll never forget when he told me, he was like "I ain't even a balla. I'm still driving a Ford Focus!!!!!) I haven't even done that yet. But, I finally beat him at one thing: I used to mess around with a married chick.

It was March of 05, I was feeling good because after a month's time and a little nervousness, the IRS finally deposited a nice check into my bank account....So I knew I had to go to the bank to get my mom's half (yeah I claimed my little brother and sister), and on this day I go to the bank, I notice a pretty face hidden in glasses behind the counter. She was also looking at me, and I think she whispered something to her co-worker along the lines of "look at this guy coming in!" with that in mind, my confidence was at an all-time high and I was ready to go into "Omar Epps" mode. As the chick says "I can help you", I trotted towards her counter.

Bank Chick: Why are you looking at me?
RM: I'm just trying to see how pretty you look under them glasses.
Bank Chick: What are you trying to say? That I don't look good with them on?
RM: Oh no, not at all, I just wanted a closer look.

As she finishes the transaction, I leave and head back to work. And now my conscience is bothering me.

RM's conscience: Dude, that chick was giving you mad rhythm. Why you aint try to holla?
RM: Yeah I know, I'm tripping. I guess I didn't feel like hearing a possible rejection.
RM's conscience : Rob, you just walked out of the bank with a gang of dough. Your on top of the world at the moment. Quit worrying about that bull-ish.
RM: Yeah, you're right. But what should I do, I've already headed back the j-o?
RM's conscience: Ok, when you get back to work, look her number up off of the bank's website, and put yo' bid in
RM: Ok, sounds like a plan

So after badgering with myself for a few minutes, I give the Bank Chick a call.

RM: Hello make I speak to "Bank Chick"
Bank Chick: How did you get my number?
RM: Oh, well I looked it up online
Bank Chick: Oh, ok. So what's up
RM: Well I was wondering if I could take you out sometime....
Bank Chick: See, you are so cute and have such a pretty smile and white teeth that its hard for me to turn you down, but I am married
RM: Oh ( as I'm about to go into my goodbye speech)
Bank Chick: But we can still be friends
*then my conscience decides to drop in on the convo*
RM's conscience: There you go Rob! That's an open invite to hit that!
RM's : I know but I'm not trying to go there. Go away
RM's conscience: I'm just trying to help you out.
RM (back to Bank Chick) : Oh ok, I guess

So we begin a conversation about life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. She's not happy with her husband because he doesn't show any kind of affection towards her anymore, and maybe its because she feels he's not attracted to her because she had a baby about 6 months ago and still has a little "baby fat". So I whisper sweet nothings in her ear to make her feel good, and she is really feeling that.

Over the course of a couple weeks, we only talk a few times. Maybe 5 minutes at the most with each conversation. But in this latest convo she mentions that her mother lives not too far from me and she wants to come by to kick it with me for a little bit. So of course, I agree, figuring she wants to come by to see me since we haven't seen each other since the day I went to the bank to get some dough.

She comes over, and she has on her trademark glasses, but what I didn't realize that Bank Chick was quite thick. She had a little baby fat, but the back made up for it greatly and she was just how I like them : short, thick and light skin with decent hair length....and I'm trying to play it cool, being so naive, trying to find something to watch on TV as a diversion. Of course, nothing's on that interests her, so we go straight into conversation:

Bank Chick: Can I see your room
RM's : Well, sure, but its a little messed up
Bank Chick: That's ok, I just want to make sure that you aint hiding weapons in there trying to kill me

we go to my room, and she's checking out my closets. of course clothes are piled nearly to the top. And I have my Jake Steed (warning: click at own risk) collection on the dresser, hoping she doesn't see it. And then she jumps on my bed.

Bank Chick: Your bed is so hard
RM: Really? I don't think so. maybe its because I don't sleep on it that much.

I walk back to living room, hoping that she would follow. It seemed reluctant, but she came back to the living room. For some reason I was being quite naive, and nervous, so I'm still trying to find something on TV. But it seems as though every channel was on a commercial break.

Bank Chick: Why are you sitting so far away from me?
RM: I'm just trying to play it cool, I didn't want you think I was trying to be all over you
Bank Chick: Well what would happen if you were all over me?
RM: Naw, you don't want to see that
Bank Chick: Why not?
RM: Because I would do this -

And I get to kissing on her neck, and I kid you not, within 5 to 10 seconds of this, Bank Chick jumps right on top of me and we're kissing at a feverish pace. I take her into my room and we do the do, and as soon as we're finished, she looks at the time and says "Oh sh*t, I gotta go. My husband is probably looking for me"

So she washed up quickly, and I walk her down to her car, give her a hug and she darts off.

So over the next few months, we got together like 2 or 3 times, we even talked about me picking her up from work one day and taking her back to my job's parking lot for some action in the back of my truck. But that never materialized.

One day in July, she wanted to come over and see me, but she didn't want anyone to know she was over, and at the time, my cousins Smooth and Tiger and little brother were chillin' at the crib, but luckily, they left for a picnic. Bank Chick comes over and of course another transaction was being handled, but this time she's talking rather differently:

Bank Chick: I think I'm starting to fall in love with you. How come I couldn't have met you a few years ago?
RM: Whoa.....we can't have're just talking crazy now
Bank Chick: No, I'm serious, we can go half (as in a baby)
*sound of record scratching goes off in my head*
RM: No, definately not trying to do that.........

So after we're done, I'm thinking like "ok this probably needs to stop because someone is going to get hurt". And she must've thought the same thing because that was the last time I've ever seen or heard from the bank chick. Would I ever mess with a married chick again? Probably Not, it is wrong on all levels (I said probably, LOL) . I've thought of calling her to see what's up, but sometimes you have to let certain situations be. But, I'll say, I've never felt better about making deposits and withdrawals.

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

More about me

I'm a regular cat for the most part - Working everyday, trying to survive, wondering what the future holds. I love sports. Sports nerd. Sports junkie. My TV stays on ESPN. I've always toted a Chicago Sun Times everyday since high school, reading from the back (sports section) to the front. I pause whatever I'm doing if I notice TNA (tits and ass) in my vision (LOL). In my opinion I've lived a sheltered life, not because of strict upbringing but mainly because of being "scared to live". I'm scared of rejection because it feels like I've been rejected all of my life. I have big aspirations (more on that at a later date), but I'm afraid that I may fail so often I don't take chances. If I see a chick somewhere, I immediately think of all the reasons why I may not get the number.

She probably got a guy. She looking for a Captain Save-a-hoe. My gear wasn't tight at the time. My fade was not on point. I need to shave.

All of those thoughts run thru my head in a span of 30 seconds. I've even tried to read books on improving confidence, still to no avail. I don't think a book would help; I just feel it has to happen naturally. Honestly, I feel as though my insecurities keep me humble. I've had women tell me that they like the fact that I'm humble, and conversely I've had women tell me that I needed to be more "arrogant". Its funny how women complain about arrogance yet when comes down to it they are attracted to it.

What I look for in a woman

Ok, your boy Robert Mack is extremely picky. Let me give details why. When I was younger, I was told that I was ugly and I was a geek and only ugly chicks would like me, so that's what I believed. The girls didn't start to notice me until I turned about 15 or so (I grew to be 6'2'', 6 inches taller than both of my parents). Still I was geeky and didn't have "game" so I still was scared to get at the quote/unquote "pretty" chick.......And I spent most of my teenage/early 20's life feeling like this. Now that I'm older, I tell people that I need to make up for lost time, so now I find myself only interested in chicks that have it all - Even to the point where looks weigh heavily to me. Yes I know, I'm hanging out on the shallow end of the pool here. I'm not saying that looks are the only thing, but yeah I've been known to date a pretty chick that aint necessarily got it all in the head but she was "light skin with long hair" (namely my most recent ex-girl). I took a lot from that relationship, mostly that looks aren't everything. But let me also explain too that If I find a chick average looking, I get tired of them after a while (That's a gemini trait that I read somewhere). I have a very bad wandering eye. If I'm in the supermarket and I see a "nice one", if my girl aint bad like her, then I'm going to spend the next 5 minutes or so in La-La land thinking about the "supermarket" chick. So to avoid that, I try to hold out until I find chicks that have it all....looks, no kids, smart, knows somewhat about sports, she knows how to cook......BUT, if I see a potential chick like this out somewhere, again it's back to the negative scenarios in my head. I can't complain about my situation if I'm not willing to do anything about it, right?

What I want out of this blog

I'm just looking to reflect back on past relationships, get opinions from the viewing world, and to use this blog to jump start the rest of life as I creep into the mid to late 20's here. I want to have future stories to tell that are quite compelling, so to do this I need to "live a little". I'll try to end every post with Thanks for Reading because I'm truly grateful to anyone who takes time to read about my life.

Now let's get on with some stories!

Thanks for Reading,

Robert Mack

My First Post

Hello, All of you out in the internet world. Somehow, someway, you've come across my blog. My name is Robert Mack, just a nickname that I've had now for a few years. I decided to base this blog off of my life experiences, mainly with the opposite sex, but I'll also tell stories about everyday life in general. Mostly I would like to use this blog as a "coming-of-age" story of a young black man in his mid-20's. I would like to tell past stories, and I hope to tell compelling stories of my future. Let me fill you in on who I am.

Age: Mid-20's
Height: 6'2
weight: 220 (or so)
Race: Black (dark-skinned)
Location: Chicago, IL, south side
Status: No kids, never been married, 100% straight, no "DL" in me (LOL)
Job: 2 jobs....One at a prominent computer company, the other at a prominent cable company.

Tall, dark and handsome. I've been told that I look like a lot of people, maybe its because I have a common looking face, but ever since my freshman year in high school the person I've been told I look like the most is NBA player Chris Webber. Now at first, I didn't like it, but once I realized that Chris Webber once won an award for being voted the "sexiest man in the NBA", the comparison didn't bother me anymore (LOL). So I am definately a man in demand. MY biggest problem is, I don't believe that all of the time. My biggest downfall is my lack of confidence, hench the title "My Greatest Enemy is My Inner Me", a line I picked up from a rapper named Lupe Fiasco, an up-and-comer from Chicago that I'm a big fan of.Throughout most of my dating life (I really didn't begin until I was 18, with an already pregnant chick nonetheless. Maybe I'll tell that story later) I've usually "settled" for the average chick. Because throughout my childhood I was always chided for being "chocolate" or being nerdy, even being called gay, so my confidence was low from the start of puberty. And now that I'm much older, I still let those childhood memories get the best of me, especially when it comes to talking to women. My feeling is that a very pretty women either already has a man or is looking for a "Balla". And I refuse to pay some other chick's bills, hell I have my own that I have to deal with. So in the end, I'll end up with a chick that I really didn't like but she was around and I was bored (read: horny). Every now and then I'll come across a winner, but for whatever reasons it didn't work out the way I'd like, so I was back to square 1. I've had countless females tell me I have no reason to feel like this, but it's the one monkey that I cannot get off of my back. I've passed up a lot of potential women because I was, for a lack of a better word, "scared" to make a move for fear of rejection. One of the worst feelings in the world is to find out maybe months or years later that a chick you liked but was scared to get at had similar interests in you. Of course now she's married or is someone's "baby moma", which ends any chance of making up for lost time. I will keep this blog 100% true, with the obvious exception of real names to protect the innocent (or guilty, LOL). I will not be ashamed to make myself look bad, because to me its all a learning experience. So with all of this, I bring you Robert Mack's Chronicles: Past and Present Stories.